After reading yesterday’s post to Patricia and Kattrya, the women of whom I spoke, they made a few corrections in the name of accuracy. Their editorial comments are included here.

We gathered outside the front door, my two running (walking) partners and I, our skin assaulted by the freezing wind (gentle breeze) at 5:30 (7:30) am, feeling colder (very comfortable) due to the 17000-foot (7500’) elevation.

We took off on a 20mile, round trip, uphill in both directions, run, (4 mile gently rolling walk) dressed in our hiking clothes with backpacks loaded with provisions to insure our survival. (T-shirts and shorts and a bottle of water.)

No sooner had we reached the road at the end of the driveway, the two Olympic-marathon conditioned (not quite) younger (true) women took off in a sprint (slow walk) while I, just recovering from the trauma of being rousted out of a warm bed at O’dark thirty, (He’d been up for an hour drinking coffee) paced myself for the arduous trek (stroll) ahead.

Shortly, a jogger coming at me from the opposite direction approached. As he came around the bend in front of me, I started to jog toward him. We greeted one another the way fellow athletes do. When he passed I leaned over gasping to catch my breath. (All true. Tee hee.)

By this time the two Olympians (normal, healthy, attractive young women) were almost out of sight, which concerned me greatly because they had allegedly sighted a pack of (one) mountain lions the day before when they went out for a much less strenuous stroll (the same sensible pace) along the same road.

Sensing the potential danger I faced if I came across the vicious animals, I broke a large heavy tree limb (a small rotted twig laying on the ground) off a nearby Oak (Aspen) tree to use as a combination walking stick and weapon to defend myself against the pending attack. (He would have run if he’d seen anything bigger than a groundhog coming his way.)

After an hour (about 15 minutes) or so when I didn’t see the women coming back I headed back to the house to get help. (To sit down and rest.)

Fortunately they returned safely before we could organize a posse to go searching for them. (There was no posse in the process of being formed. The author was sitting drinking coffee and talking to Lee.)

It was quite an adventure and I learned a lot from it. It will be a long time before I’ll read any of my brilliant literature to my wife and friends again. (Thank Goodness.)

Success thought for today:

“Good writing is rewriting.”
-Truman Capote

Special note to my regular readers: I suspect that I think this piece is a lot cleverer than it actually is. My apologies to all of you and to Mark Twain, Dave Berry and every other great writer who actually did and do write clever stuff.

Byron
www.byronethompson.com

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I’m often asked, “Byron, how do you write such witty, insightful, meaningful pieces day after day?” (Actually I’m the one who does the asking)

To answer that for you, a current example follows.

We gathered outside the front door, my two running partners and I, our skin being assaulted by the freezing wind at 5:30 am, feeling colder due to the 17000’ elevation.

We took off on a 20 mile, round trip, uphill in both directions run, dressed in our hiking clothes with backpacks loaded with provisions to insure our survival.

No sooner had we reached the road at the end of the driveway, the two Olympic marathon-conditioned younger women took off in a sprint while I, just recovering from the trauma of being rousted out of a warm bed at o’dark-thirty, paced myself for the arduous trek ahead.

Shortly, a jogger coming at me from the opposite direction approached. As he came around the bend in front of me, I started to jog toward him. We greeted one another the way fellow athletes do. When he passed I leaned over, gasping to catch my breath.

By this time the two Olympians were almost out of sight, which concerned me greatly, because they had allegedly sighted a pack of mountain lions the day before when they went out for a much less strenuous stroll along the same road.

Sensing the potential danger I faced if I came across the vicious animals, I broke a large heavy tree limb off a nearby oak tree to use as a combination walking stick and weapon to defend myself against the pending attack.

After an hour or so when I didn’t see the women coming back I headed back to the house to get help.

Fortunately they returned safely before we could organize a party to go searching for them.

It was quite an adventure and I learned a lot from it. It will be a long time before I head out into the wilderness again.

Success thought for today:

“The secret of good writing is to tell the truth.”
-Gordon Lish

Byron
www.byronethompson.com

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There is a story, which may be apocryphal, about the great psychologist, Abraham Maslow, watching his two-year-old grandson playing around the house with a toy rubber hammer. The boy would go from one piece of furniture to another hitting each one as he came to it. Maslow opined that if your only tool is a hammer everything looks like a nail. 

I thought of this in a recent conversation with a friend whom I’ve known for many years. I notice that his response to the situation under discussion was the same as fit would have been 30 years earlier.

His rigid, dogmatic, opinionated conclusion was based on the decisions he made about the time he read his last book. Maybe I’m being a little harsh on him. He is my friend and I love him, but it frustrates me to try to talk to him about new ideas.

He is unwavering in his adherence to good solid values that are deserving of respect and that earn him the admiration of the people who know him well.

However, when it comes to considering an approach or an idea that does not conform to his template of the way things are, he has no way of embracing it. His only mental tool is his “hammer” in the form of a constrictive paradigm.

In talking to others they’ve told me they’ve had similar experiences in going back to their hometowns after being gone for many years and running into old friends who have never left. They found that many of their old friends, having never traveled, were operating from a limited context.

Those reports and my encounters with my friend cause me to ask myself, “Am I limiting my experience of life with outdated ideas?”

Is it possible for you and me to consider new ideas? Would it be valuable for us to look at the other side of a conclusion we’ve drawn and argue in its favor? Let’s try that in our next conversation. It just might give us a fresh new outlook.

Success thought for today:

“Every difference of opinion is not a difference of principle.”

-Thomas Jefferson – First Inaugural Address

P.S. I was tempted to use one of La Rochefoucauld’s maxims:

“Unless they share our opinions, we seldom find people sensible.”

Byron
www.byronethompson.com

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Kaya called one morning as I was vacationing in Pagosa Springs, Colorado.

What a thrill it was to hear her voice. It had been too long since I last talked to my special friend.

I first met Kaya McGrath when she was the reigning Miss Clatsop County. She was preparing to compete in the Miss Oregon competition and working out at the local health club. She and I had the same personal trainer, Jill, who introduced us. Kaya wanted some help with her presentation. I worked with her and coached her to a loss.   Actually, she did very well, finishing in the top ten. We stayed friends. I went to hear her sing on several occasions and thrilled at listening to her beautiful voice. She spoke at my Rotary club in Seaside and went on to take the Dale Carnegie Course in Effective Speaking and Human Relations. (I highly recommend this outstanding personal development program for any one at any age. It is easily the most important training program I ever participated in.)

I watched her finish her college work at Clatsop Community College and go onto enroll in a Christian college that is very much in line with her beliefs and values, Warner Pacific College in Portland.

She drove to Seattle stood in line for hours and unsuccessfully tried out for American Idol but it didn’t discourage her. She entered several more beauty pageants in an unsuccessful attempt at winning the Miss Oregon title. She met one set back after another but never lost her enthusiasm or her positive attitude. She possesses a loving giving attitude as demonstrated in her platform of working with underprivileged children. Her compassion comes, in part, from her own childhood. She came from a broken home. She and her brothers were raised by her mother and did not have a lot of money but she would never consider herself to be underprivileged. Her grandmother was a strong presence and positive supportive influence in her life.

We lost touch with one another, when Patricia and I moved to Southern Arizona a couple of years ago, until she found my phone number and called with her good news.

She graduated with honors with a degree in music from Warner Pacific College and is getting married to the man of her dreams in October.

It is such a thrill to see her life unfolding in such a positive and wonderful and well-deserved way.

The reward that I received from having been a part of her growth, success and happiness causes me to want to contribute to others whenever the opportunity presents itself.

My suggested action for today is that we all look for ways to use our gifts, whatever they may be to mentor others. The pay off makes it all worthwhile.

Success thought for today:

“A gift is pure when it is given from the heart to the right person at the right time and at the right place, and we expect nothing in return.”
-Bhagavad Gita

Byron
www.byronethompson.com

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I mentioned yesterday that I’d just read Rath and Harder’s “Wellbeing” I recommend it highly. It is well researched and well written and their conclusions are documented in such a way as to give them creditability. The authors did extensive research on the quality of life of their subjects in five areas: career, social, financial, physical and community.

They found that the more balanced they were the happier they were. (DUH )

You’ll recall that I talked about that being one of the values possessed by the successful I observed in my soon to be New York Times best seller.

The reason I bring this up is because in my former job I really liked the variety of my activities. I believe it kept me enthused and committed to my work.

My new BFF (best friend forever) Gunter, who I met at the car dealership the other day said, in justifing his moving to Portland, “You’ve got to have a change in venue.”

I think that is true for many of us, especially me. I have a short attention span.

So I like the variety I’ve built into my life. I like sitting here for part of every day “enriching your life” with my pearls of wisdom ( ). I like my regular exchanges with Michelle as she keeps me on track with my web site and blog site. I like seeing Ana every day as she is pursuing the latest adventure in her life. I like playing golf twice a week. I like going out to dinner and to a movie with Patricia. I like attending church and serving on the board of trustees. I like participating in my weekly consciousness discussion group. I like speaking to clubs and groups about my writing. I like the radio interviews. I like the quiet time I have to read and reflect on my life. I like the dinners at my friends’ houses. I like the freedom to travel to the interesting places Patricia and I go to. I like the balance and variety in my life. I think it makes me a more interesting husband, father and friend.

So here is your weekend assignment. What does a typical week look like for you? Do you have a sufficient amount of variety in it? Is it balance to the degree you’d like?

If not what are some of the activities you’d like to add?

These are the questions for you to ponder over the weekend.
Let me know how you do.

Success thought for today:

“Variety’s the very spice of life. That gives it all its flavor.”
-William Cowper

Byron
www.byronethompson.com

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I have been a student of metaphysics for all of my adult life. According to the American Heritage Dictionary, metaphysics is the branch of philosophy that examines the nature of reality, including the relationship between mind and matter.

Opinions expressed by advocates of that esoteric field of study have been very difficult to defend in scientific circles until recently

With an increasing understanding of the make up of the physical universe, however, more and more serious thinkers are acknowledging that there are junctures where what has been called mind or spirit becomes indistinguishable from the flow of energy that can be measured in the sub atomic world of quantum physics.

Because the entire topic requires deep study into two apparently disparate disciplines it becomes very difficult for the layman to get a firm grip on an easy explanation of its workings.

What does this have to do with us in our daily pursuit of happiness and fulfillment?

It requires the truest test for reality in our moment-by-moment lives.

Positive thinking has been assigned to the Norman Vincent Peale school of faith in the past but now there is serious research being conducted on the relationship between attitudes (mind) and observable existence (reality).

I’ve just finished reading “Wellbeing” by Tom Rath and Jim Harter; their scientific studies and research on the physical manifestations of attitudes toward well being and happiness are enough to turn even the most cynical of us into positive thinkers.

Essentially what they have demonstrated, in very concrete terms in the lives of their subjects, is positive attitudes and positive behaviors beget positive outcomes.

How do I apply these things in my life, you might ask? Read “Build Your Dream: 12 Essential Tools For Successful Living” .

Success thought for today:

“It is not enough to have a good mind: one must use it well.”
-Rene Descartes

Byron
www.byronethompson.com

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When I was in grade school approximately 100 years ago, or so it seems, I was a professional singer. Well, technically I was a professional. My dictionary defines a professional as “one engaging in an activity and receiving pay” thus, since I was paid, I sort of qualified. I was reminded of this when I received an email from one of my fellow “professionals”, Ted Waterfield.

Way back then he and I both sang in choir at Grace Episcopal Church in Sandusky, Ohio. Ted, I’m sure was devoted to his faith and using his beautiful singing voice. The money, on the other hand, motivated me. I was a mercenary. I would have sung for the Baptists if they had paid me more. I don’t remember the exact amount we received, it wasn’t very much, but once a week, I think, we’d get a little brown envelope with a dollar or two and a few coins.

Later, while living Miami Beach, Florida, I became a professional diver. (Which, incidentally, was no big deal. Divers in Miami Beach were like opera singers in Rome, everybody did it.)

A group of us who made our living working at the hotels would perform for the hotel guests on weekends. We would do acrobatic diving shows and received the princely sum of $20.00 per show.

These two chapters in my life had one thing in common. I never had any real professional training and I never practiced very much.

I thought of this and put it into perspective as I was going over my tax returns today. My friend and CPA Bob is a true professional as evidenced by the fact that he has kept me out of jail for the past 30 years.

Bob has not only studied his profession and is licensed in it, he is always taking continuing education courses and keeping himself current and abreast with the ever changing tax code.

He is good at what he does.

It causes me to think, what am I doing to qualify as a professional? When I first started to write, I thought it would merely be an extension of the work I’d been doing throughout my career. Since I made my living speaking, teaching and selling, all skills requiring the organized, systematic use of words, how hard could it be?

I could not have been more wrong. I’ve been at it for nine years and find that it is the most challenging work I’ve ever undertaken. I attend conferences, take classes and read books studying the art off writing. In fact I’ll be attending a three day writers conference in Tucson the end of this month. I have an enormous amount of respect for any writer who has ever sat down and put pen to paper.

Here’s what I want to say to you today, I know that among the millions (?) of you out there in blog-land reading this there are those of you who are still in the process of working and there are those of you who are looking at the next chapter in your life. My suggestion for all of us today is to aspire to the designation of professional.

Let’s “pay our dues.” Let’s earn the respect of all of those who come into contact with our work. Most of all let’s be able to look at ourselves in the mirror and know that we are working at our professions.

Success thought for today:

“Being a professional is doing all the things you love to do on the days when you don’t feel like doing them.”
-Julius Irving

Byron
www.byronethompson.com

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As we sat in the waiting room while my car was being serviced Gunter, who was also waiting, started telling Patricia and me his story. He was a recently retired air traffic controller and had been in Arizona for 25 years. As soon as his car was ready he was leaving for Portland, Oregon and boy was he ready. He couldn’t wait to “get out of the desert heat.” Well the heat of the desert is the exact reason we moved from Oregon nearly two years ago because we, after 25 years of either overcast skies or rain wanted to “get to a sunnier climate.”

Later that day I notice a posting on Facebook from a Realtor friend of ours in Oregon who said she was heading up to British Columbia to “get out of the dismal overcast.”

I’ve discovered, since moving here, that almost all of my neighbors and friends are constantly on the go, looking for a cooler climate or some other more agreeable circumstance to add to their pleasurable living. There is a saying by many down here that elevation is the key to surviving in the desert.

I don’t know for sure if all this “to-ing and fro-ing” (coming and going) is creating much contentment but we, Patricia and I included, seem to always be looking for a little easier more enjoyable existence. It is not unlike the sensation of turning over in bed in hopes that lying on this side will be more comfortable than the other side. You know how that works out. Right?

A Mid-Westerner, who had gone off to study Zen came home after several years to visit his father on the farm where he had grown up. His father asked him what that thing he was studying was supposed to do for him. “Well” explained the son, “It is to give me a quiet mind.” The father puffed on his pipe as he stared into the burning fire in the fireplace and said, “I already have a quiet mind.”

Perhaps we don’t need to leave home to find the contentment we all crave,

Success thought for today:

“To find perfect composure in the midst of change is to find nirvana.”
-Shunryu Suzuki

Byron
www.bronethompson.com

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I heard an interesting story over lunch a few days ago. It concerns a very successful businessman who, according to his brother, makes over $100,000.00 but lives on less than $30,000 per year, donating the rest of his after tax money to a philanthropic program of his own design.

His devotion to assisting the needy is extraordinary. For the past 20 years he has taken a group of volunteer college students and several of his construction employees to a small village in Mexico. With his own money, he and his team build two new houses for families who would otherwise be homeless. He is a very happy man according his brother as he was telling me the story. 

This committed man is practicing a brand of humanity that puts most of us to shame. We each have the opportunity to serve one another in varying degrees depending on our individual circumstances.

My friend’s story caused me to ask, “How do I measure up when it comes to evaluating my own humanitarianism?” The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation is doing great and meaningful charitable work around the globe to enhance health care and reduce extreme poverty. The foundation received a gift of $30 billion from Warren Buffet in 1996. At the time, according to Forbes Magazine, he was the world’s richest man. I have a net worth that is slightly south of that of Bill Gates and Warren Buffet and I suspect you do too. So how can we make a significant contribution to the welfare of our fellow man?

We are all wealthy in different ways.

Previously I talked about our talents as gifts. Those talents can be donated in lieu of money by taking advantage of the many opportunities for us to contribute our time, energy and experience.

I’ve mentioned mentoring as one very worthwhile way to contribute to others, but how does one know where the best place for them to contribute?

The industrialist and philanthropist, Henry Kaiser had a slogan, “Find A Need and Fill It.” That suggests we need but look around and the need for our special talents will appear. I’d like to also suggest that the need can be a two way street. As we are filling someone else’s need we can at the same time be filling one of our own. As an example, if you are not skilled in public speaking why not find an organization that needs some one to lead a group or chair a committee? You can fill their need and yours at the same time. If you have a talent for accounting many not for profit organizations could use your skill.

Success thought for today:

“The most excellent of alms is that of a man of small property, which he has earned by labor, and from which he gives as much as he is able.”
-Muhammad

Byron
www.byronethompson.com

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In writing, we concern ourselves with our place in the mind of our audience. In marketing it is called a niche.

As I look at the hundreds of books on my bookshelf, I realize that each of these authors is aiming for a position, a niche or a place in the mind of their desired target audience. They have an opinion or point of view that they believe will benefit their reader in some way and they want to be sure that it will reach them.

I recently attended a teleseminar, (you don’t have to leave your desk, you just dial in on the phone and attend.) One of the points that stuck in my mind is that in advertising we want to “Enter the conversation already going on in the customer’s mind.”

I thought about that as it concerns our participation in are daily conversations. We all have points of views on various subjects that we’d like to share with our listeners whether in business, our profession or in every day social conversation. Ideally those opinions are of value to our listeners. (See Wisdom in Communications post of June 17)

When we “enter the conversation already going on in our listener’s mind” we have a much better chance of being understood and establishing our position. The whole art of communication is such an important one that it deserves our life long commitment to mastering it.

Here are some action steps for us to take today.

1. Let’s decide what we want to communicate to the audience or audiences we will be addressing today.

2. Let’s ask ourselves “What is the conversation is already going on in their minds?” (A good way to find out is to ask questions before we start to espouse our opinions.)

3. Check up on ourselves at the end of the conversation to see how we rate ourselves in terms of achieving our goal.

Good luck.

Success thought for today:

“What problem am I solving for my listener or what need am I filling for him or her?”
-Wil Williams, Positioning Authority

Byron
www.byronethompson.com

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