“What would you say if you were to give a talk to a Rotary Club today?”

Mike asked me that question as we were saying goodbye in the parking lot of a Starbucks in Portland a couple of weeks ago.

Mike Stack is the immediate Past President of his Rotary Club and knew that I had been a 30-year member of Rotary International and had spoken to hundreds of Rotary Clubs throughout my career. My theme had always been inspirational and motivational to encourage the members to be the best people and Rotarians that they could be. The secondary purpose in those talks was always to invite them to use Dale Carnegie Training for themselves or their companies.

Retired now, that wouldn’t be an appropriate message so I thought about Mike’s question.

Here’s my answer and what it has to do with you.

Rotary Talk Part I

My purpose here today is to say thank you.

Thank you Rotary for what you have done for me.

Anyone of you could give this talk, only the details would be different.

We all owe a debt of gratitude to Rotary.

I want to talk about mine.

About 35 years ago my boss and mentor, “Boo” Bue, and I were making sales calls in Chico, California.

We walked into Bill Cohe’s office and Boo noticed a copy of the 4 Way Test on the wall and said, “Bill, I imagine that your club is always looking for high energy, enthusiastic people who can get things done. Right?” Bill, who was one of my graduates, said, “Yes we are.” “Well Byron’s that kind of person.” Boo said.

We walked out of the office and I said, “Boo, You should not have said that. The 200 plus members of the Chico Rotary Club are the most prominent and influential people in Chico. I don’t have any business being in there with them.” Boo just smiled and changed the subject.

The next week I got a call from Bill inviting me to lunch at his Rotary Club. Shortly after that I was invited to join the club and, in spite of my poor self-image, became comfortable with the other members.

One day the president, Angelo Volpato, asked me to head up a fund raising campaign to raise $25,000 for a matching grant. Before I could say no he assured me I’d have plenty of help in the form of a committee of a dozen past presidents and community leaders.

We were successful and that experience increased my leadership skills and boosted my self-esteem.

Thank you Rotary.

A few years later I moved to Portland and joined the, then 750 member Downtown Portland club.

Al Hughes, the Executive Director, asked me to conduct a retreat for the incoming Board of Directors. I did. It was a success and I met Bill Branson, the incoming president, and was able to help him prepare for his term by improving his communication and leadership skills. That resulted in my being elected to the Board of Directors where I increased my own leadership skills and developed more confidence and belief in my abilities to take on bigger challenges and to think bigger.

All of these growing experiences contributed to my success in business.

Thank you Rotary.

Success thought for today:

"Experience is a good schoolmaster" but reason iz a better one.
-Josh Billings

Byron
www.byronethompson.com

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I sat down at my desk this morning and a very unusual event occurred; one so powerful that it brought up a rush of emotion and tears to my eyes.

It’s a story in the news today about a high school football player in Snohomish, Washington. (read Ike’s story here) 

Ike Ditzenberger’s number was called with 10 seconds remaining in Snohomish High School’s game against Lake Stevens. The quarterback handed off to Ike and he took off running toward the goal line, 51 yards away. The Lake Stevens defenders missed tackle after tackle as Ike raced toward the end zone accompanied by a squadron of teammates protecting him.

Ike’s touchdown was the only score of the game for Snohomish. The crowd went wild. His teammates slapped him on the back and hoisted up in the air in celebration.

The Lake Stevens team was as happy as everybody else and, in fact, is credited for a large part of Ike’s success.

Ike has Down Syndrome. He practices with the team every day, mostly offensive drills with the other subs.

My nephew Patrick has Down Syndrome and I’ve watched him and marveled at his enthusiasm for life and his innocence for over twenty years.

So when I read about Ike’s exploit, it touched me and caused the tears to well up in my eyes.

At first, I thought that was a rather foolish reaction, sitting here alone in front of my computer. Upon further reflection though, I realized how fortunate I am to be able to experience that emotion.

American Heritage Dictionary defines emotion as:

“A mental state that arises spontaneously rather than through conscious effort often accompanied by a physiological changes.”

It is what happens to me when I listen to beautiful music, hear an inspirational talk or meet a person whose very life is a sermon unto itself.

I’m glad that I feel and can be moved. I’m glad that I’m not crusty or cynical.

My invitation for you for today is to open yourself up to the wonders, joy and beauty that surround you and allow yourself to experience the emotional reaction you have.

Success thought for today:

“The energy that actually shapes the world springs from emotions”
-George Orwell

Byron
www.byronethompson.com

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As Lee sat on the tailgate of his old 51 Chevy pick up truck he was approached by a well-dressed man. “Is this where the Dale Carnegie class is going to meet?” he asked. “Sure is.” said Lee in his New Mexico accent. “Right through that door.” Lee had just finished doing some gardening and was dressed for it; Levis, old shirt, boots, his favorite beat up old cowboy hat and a plug of chewing tobacco in his mouth. 

“Did you take the Dale Carnegie Course?” the man asked. Lee looked at him, spit a stream of tobacco juice into the flower bed he’d just planted and smiling, answered, “Sure did. It was the best thing I ever did in my life.”

Just then a nice new car pulled up along side of them and three men and a woman all wearing suits got out. One of the men asked, “Is this where the Dale Carnegie Class is going to meet?”

The first man, who’d arrived earlier, answered, with a little smirk on his face, “Yes it is and this man is a Dale Carnegie graduate.”

“Really,” said the woman, looking at the disreputable looking sight in front of her. “What did you get out of it?” Lee looked at her and spat out another stream of tobacco into the flowers. “I got the ability to drive this old truck and work in this garden any time I want.”

They all left, went in the door and were greeted by the instructor. “Who was that man sitting out there?” “Which one?” asked the instructor. “That one in the dirty clothes sitting on the back of that truck. He said he’s a graduate.” laughed one of the men. The instructor looked out the window and laughing said, “Oh yeah, he is. He’s Lee Straughan. He’s the president of the company and owns this building.”

Lee tells this story to make a teaching point as he usually does with all his stories.

We can’t judge people by what we see on the outside. We’ve got to get to know people to find out who and what they are.

It reminds me not make assumptions and judgments without all the facts.

Success thoughts for today:

“You cannot judge a man till you know his whole story.”
-Thomas Fuller

“The world is full of pots jeering at kettles.”
-La Rochefoucauld

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Michael Burgess was the best damn writing coach I ever had.

Last week I posted a two-part blog entitled “How Does Alice Keep Us Coming Back?” (September 23 and 24th).  It was a re-write of a piece of fiction I wrote when I was taking a writing course from Mike. The first draft of that essay was pretty rough, as most first drafts are, but when Mike gave it back with suggestions for improvement, it turned out well. I say well in terms of its achieving its intended purpose to entertain and communicate emotions, compassion and sensitivity. I hope you enjoyed it.

It was an example of how my writing improved under the guidance of an accomplished and talented writer and writing coach.

It was just one of a number of essays that Mike suffered through and corrected for my fellow students and me in his class.

Week after week he’d give us challenging assignments forcing us to go into our lives and experiences to communicate in such a way as to make our writing say something.

I would go to class at The Cannon Beach Historical Society building early, so I could visit with him as he had his pre-class cigarette on the porch.

Mike’s coaching and encouragement enabled me, after I moved away from Cannon Beach, Oregon to complete my book and get it published.

I was really proud of the finished product and couldn’t wait to show it to him.

I went back to Cannon Beach on vacation over the Labor Day week-end and stayed for several days with the intention of calling Mike and showing him a copy of “Build Your Dream: 12 Essential Tools for Successful Living”.

I never did and he never saw it because my coach and my friend died before I could see him.

Mike Burgess was the best damn writing coach I ever had and he was one of the finest human beings I’ve ever known.

I lost the opportunity to tell him. I could have written to him and sent him a copy of the book.

I’m going to use this lost opportunity to remind me of the importance of seizing the day and being sure I tell people how important they are to me and what their contribution to my life has meant. I hope you’ll do the same.

Success thought for today:

“If with pleasure you are viewing any work a man is doing, If you like him or you love him, Tell him now.”
-Berton Braley from his poem “Do It Now”

Byron
www.byronethompson.com
I wish Mike had been here to edit this post. I would have been a lot better.

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Born third in a family of five children she demonstrates many of the symptoms of a middle child. As an example, her defensive response to being lost in the “crowd” She spent her school years overachieving by getting straight A’s in her classes, and excelling as an actress starring in numerous plays especially musicals.

But none of it ever seemed to be enough to catch the attention of her always-busy parents, much less earn their applause and appreciation.

When it came time for college there was no money for her to go, even though her two older siblings educations were fully funded.

So Alice moved out of the house and went to work at a minimum wage job supporting herself, just getting by while her older siblings moved on to high-paying professional jobs.

When her two younger siblings came of college age the family fortunes were once again solid enough for them to attend school.

In Alice’s mind there never was a proper acknowledgement of this inequity, or any attempt to make amends for it.

She had a series of tiring, unfulfilling jobs as a waitress in diners and hash houses. During this time she had three unsuccessful marriages in which she always ended up supporting her husbands and raising the resulting three kids pretty much on her own.

The only thing that made he otherwise dull, meaningless life tolerable were her nightly visits to a local piano bar where she was always the most popular “guest vocalist.”

The other patrons kept her supplied with the martinis she used to ease the pain of going home to an empty house, between loser husbands or to the current “loser of the year.”

After she threw the last one out she move to Miami Beach.

That’s when she saw an ad in the Miami Herald for a lounge singer at Bernie’s. When she auditioned, all of the hurt, the heartache and pain came out along with the one thing that made her unique and special.

Her innate sweetness.

Somehow through all her trials and tribulations, Alice never lost it. She never became bitter, resentful or angry. She always retained her Midwest naiveté, softness and vulnerability.

That’s why I go back, that’s why we all go back every night.

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I think there is much to be learned as we access our sub-conscious minds and our imaginations and look at the results. Here’s one story that taught me what is lurking in my own foggy depths.

The first thing I noticed about Alice Blaine was her perpetual, frozen, unconvincing smile. That smile was pasted on an overly made-up face, punctuated by a mouth decorated with vivid, cherry red lipstick and eyes highlighted in purple. She topped the whole garish look off with a head of stringy dishwater blonde hair that always seemed a day past needing to be washed.

But I overlook her appearance when she opens her mouth to sing. Oh Lord, can she sing! She knows all the words and music of the standards and classics from the 20s through the 40s.

When I say she can sing, you’d never mistake her voice for that of Ella Fitzgerald or Diana Krall, but she is not as bad as your average karaoke singer and better than all the American Idol rejects.

What is it that keeps us regulars coming back to Bernie’s Chi Chi Lounge night after night where Alice holds forth with Cole Porter, Irving Berlin and George Gershwin classics from 9:00 pm to 1:00 am?

It’s not her raspy voice that brings me back every night to hear her last two sets. In fact, her thirty-year habit of smoking two packs of Luckys a day and a slightly boozy sound from her two Martini pre-performance routine, added, rather than detracted, from her vocal quality.

It’s her distinctive styling of those great standards. Each word is delivered in such a plaintive, haunting, longing way that you know she understands your loneliness and pain.

To hear her reminisce with, “I’ll Be Seeing You” or lament “I Can’t Get Started With You” or the one I most relate to, “Everything Happens To Me” is to have her take you on a journey into your soul. She touches us all as we sit and absorb her magic. She communicates with us in the manner those master composers had in mind when they wrote those classics.

How is it that Alice is able to touch her audiences so deeply?

Tune in tomorrow to find out.

Byron
www.byronethompson.com

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Larry McNutt, my cribbage partner, just returned from a family celebration of his 80^th birthday. I told you about Larry’s inspiring example of a positive attitude. (see Attitude and Health…it’s a good one to reread.)

The party took place up in the Seattle area in a venue overlooking the Puget Sound on one of those rare sunlit days where it doesn’t get much more beautiful anyplace.

As Larry described the joy of watching his entire family enjoying one another and the occasion he was as happy and enthusiastic as I’d ever seen him. It made me wish everyone could have a day like that.

After the celebration, some of them went with Larry and Sarah on a cruise to Alaska and Larry’s oldest son who is a doctor upgraded the accommodations to the best the cruise line had to offer. Larry appreciated it and was so very proud of all his children for their accomplishments.

Sarah, who is Larry’s second wife, makes him very happy but there are, understandably, times when he misses the children’s mother, his first wife.

He spoke of her, nostalgically, as he talked about the party and said, wistfully, “I wish she could have been there to see how well they are all doing.”

He told me that he wore a tuxedo and gave a talk at the party. I asked, “What did you talk about?”

He got a smile on his face and took out a piece of paper with some notes from his talk.

He said “I just reminded the kids that these were the things I’d told them over the years and they are just as valid for their kids as they were for them.” I’ve included them verbatim except for one that I paraphrased, as it is a little too graphic for this “family” blog site.

Larry’s Words To Live By

Don’t spend more than you make.
Never pay interest.
Everything takes longer and costs more.
Hard work never hurt anyone.
Punctuality is a virtue.
Do not engage in ill-advised sexual practices. (paraphrased )
Always protect your downside risk.
If it’s not yours, it’s somebody else’s.
If it sounds too good to be true, it is.
There is no such thing as a free lunch.
Nothing is etched in stone.

I thought, “These are compact words of wisdom from a man who is living a long and successful life.”

I’m sharing them with my daughters, as I believe them to be true. There is much to be learned from men and women of wisdom

Success thought for today:

“What is all wisdom save a collection of platitudes?”
-Norman Douglas

Byron
www.byronethompson.com

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None of us, least of all those of us who march on high moral ground, are immune from the temptations of the seven deadly sins.

I learned this lesson, the hard way, one year early in my career when I succumbed to the siren calls of greed and vanity.

I had been living an idyllic life with my wife and daughters in an Eden like  place next to Paradise. I mean literally. The name of the place is Chico and it is just 10 miles from the town of Paradise in the north Sacramento Valley in California.

Chico is like an oasis in the dull uninteresting landscape that runs from the valley outside of Sacramento up through the Sierra Nevada Mountains to the Oregon border. It’s all primarily farmland and food processing and packing plants, in places with such picturesque names like Yuba City and Durham. These plants run around the clock with all the attendant noise and stench that accompanies such earthy operations.

Chico, a university town with its accompanying culture and interesting educated population, was immune from the sights, sounds and odors of the packing plants.

Bidwell Park, in the center of the town, with its thick thatches of oak trees and cool friendly creek running through it was an ideal place for a young family such as ours to picnic and spend quality time together.

We had an active social life with a supportive group of friends, most of whom attended the same church that we did and had kids the same ages as our. Our daughters were getting a good education and loved their school and their teachers.

Life was good. We’d never been happier in our lives, living in a comfortable three-bedroom house with a swimming pool. We enjoyed the material perks of a steady, adequate income from my job as a territory manager for a good company.

That’s where the problem started. That job.

That mind numbing, soul sucking, boring job. That totally drained me of all human vitality.

I called on storeowners who simultaneously enjoyed the privilege of an exclusive franchise and resented the company’s arrogant dictatorial intrusion into their businesses.

Fortunately for them and unfortunately for me, they had a scapegoat to vent all their complaints and frustrations on.

Just when I didn’t think I could take it anymore a seemingly ideal job was offered to me that unfortunately ended up causing us to move.

All of this was as a result of falling victim to my vices and reminds me of the joke about the greedy painter.

Humor: A dishonest house painter cheated his customers by adding paint thinner to his paint before he painted their house thereby increasing his profits.

Seeing this and no longer able to abide it God called down from Heaven:

“ Make amends for your evil ways — REPAINT AND THIN NO MORE.”

There is a lot more to the story of that fateful move and I learned a lot from the bittersweet consequences which I’ll save for another time but I sometimes wonder what our lives would have been like if I had not wished for a “better life.”

Success thought for today:

“Vice is its own reward.”
-Quentin Crisp

Byron
www.byronethompson.com

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I’m on my way to San Francisco to meet up with my friend Ignacio Monadero. You may remember reading about him in the conclusion of my soon to be New York Times bestseller “Build Your Dream: 12 Essential Tools for Successful Living.”

He and his wife Espana are on an around the world trip and this is their one stop in the States. Patricia and I are looking forward to a fascinating day with them as we show them around one of our favorite cities in the US.

His sister Esperanza introduced Ignacio and me when we were living in Spain six years ago. I’ll tell you more about Ignacio’s adventures after we meet with him but this story is about Esperanza.

“Espe” is our somewhat wacky “Spanish daughter” who lived with us for about a year, thirty years ago as a Rotary Youth Exchange student. We’ve stayed in touch with her during her travels and career and periodically would visit her when we were in Spain.

On one particularly memorable occasion, we stayed with her in Barcelona. She was living a Bohemian lifestyle in a fourth floor walk-up on El Diagonal.

While there, I attended a Rotary Club meeting at the Ritz Hotel. Sitting next to a Spanish businessman, a visitor from another club, I received a surprise invitation. He said, “You must come to my club’s meeting next week. It will be held at the home and museum of the artist Joan Abello. He knows everybody in the art world and is a friend of Picasso and Dali. By all means bring your wife and Espe.”

Of course I accepted the invitation. Patricia had been traveling in the country and didn’t have the proper clothes for such a formal occasion. We all had great fun getting ready for it. We went to Corte Ingles, the up-market department store and bought stylish clothes that were ideal for the occasion. Espe helped the conservative Patricia do her hair up in an outrageous, avant-garde style.

My new Rotary friend picked us up and drove us to Abello’s house in the country. It was spectacular. It was really three houses joined together; they had been remodeled and decorated in an ornate style.

Joan was a gracious host. What a spread he put on for the Rotary club, delicious, traditional Catalan food and an unlimited supply of Rioja. He treated us to a tour of the museum filled with his own art and autographed drawings from Picasso on the wall. There were paintings by Miro and of course, Dali, with his unique signature. He ended the evening by presenting me with an autographed copy of his book.

What a marvelous evening! What a memorable serendipitous experience!

Since then I’ve remained alert for unexpected opportunities.

Success thought for today:

“A wise man turns chance into good fortune.”
-Thomas Fuller

Byron
www.byronethompson.com

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Lee and Rosas loaded us into the Kawasaki Mule, a small gasoline powered off road vehicle for a sight seeing ride around their home in the mountains of Southern Colorado.

The afternoon sun reflected off the San Juans and a light drizzle began as we set off to see if we could spot the large herd of elk that typically came out to feed in the late afternoon.

We drove by a large drove of Aspen trees and could see several Mule Deer lurking behind them as they watched us pass. Around the bend in an open field a large herd of Angus cattle were grouped together in a tight formation and gazed at us with idle curiosity.

The temperature was a mild 70 degrees, which was a welcome relief after enduring the 100 plus degree heat of Southern Arizona that we’d been experiencing for the past couple of months. When we pulled off the main road we passed fields adorned with wildflowers and populated by several varieties of colorful birds. There was a fenced corral with a couple dozen of the most beautiful horses I’d ever seen. We never did see the elk but we saw every variety of small animals you’d expect to find in that idyllic setting. A couple of marmots, those funny looking, furry apparently boneless little rodents scampered across the road in front of us and stared at us before they retreated into a woodpile next to a barn on the ranch we were passing.

Around the bend in the road we passed more cows, Jerseys, I think, who looked at us with their blank stares as they chewed their cuds.

Then came so tall 30 to 40 foot Spruce trees integrated in amongst the Cottonwoods.

The quietness of the afternoon and the fragrant lush green landscape added to the softness and the peacefulness that only that kind of environment can provide.

When we pulled back onto the property, Lee drove the Mule around the fishpond that graces land near the house, spooking the family of Canada Geese that take up their summer residence there.

Back at the house we sat around a little table taking in the serenity of the late afternoon while having our glass of wine and snacks.

Success thought of the day:

“If you are lucky enough to live in the mountains, you are lucky enough.”
-Rosas Straughan—Sweet, gracious lady and philosopher

Byron
www.byronethompson.com

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