Part 8

The Best of Your Life for the Rest of Your Life

Living Your Dream After Fifty

When we were in Spain in April, we stayed with friends, Gordon and Margaret, in Malaga on the Costa del Sol. They have a lovely spacious apartment overlooking the Mediterranean Sea.
Their apartment is one of about 80 in a complex of privately owned units with common grounds and facilities.

Hermann Hiemcke, the former 20-year manager of the complex is 74-years old and still lives on site. Margaret arranged for me to interview him and we spent a couple of fascinating hours talking in the restaurant one afternoon. He had some great advice for all of us.
Hermann, born in Surinam, is of mixed ancestry and has been all over the world working and traveling on cruise liners starting at a very early age before moving to his father’s native home in Germany. He speaks five languages fluently and is one of the most intelligent men I’ve ever met. 

I’m going to quote directly from my notes without editorial comment because he said so much that is meaningful and useful.

Old age can be valuable. During my tenure there were 192 deaths, I was present at 92 of them. I learned a lot from those people.

Your body is only the hardware. The more valuable part of us is the software our minds. Use that mind and brain as much as we can.

Ask what you can still do and do what you can do.

When I retired I said to my successor, ‘I am a book on the book shelf. Take me down and use me. I want to volunteer.’

When you have talents, give back to society. Article 2 of the German Constitution says that my qualities belong to society.

I’m in touch with Hermann via email and I hope to get more good advice from him. I’ll let you know.

Success thought for today:

“Keep working. Let your mind continue to work.”
-Hermann Hiemcke

Byron
www.byronethompson.com

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Part 8

The Best of Your Life for the Rest of Your Life

Living Your Dream After Fifty

What do you think about when your feet hit the floor in the morning? There are probably as many answers to that question as there are readers of this blog. I would hope that your answer would be, “I’ve got to see what Byron has to say today.”   
Well that might not be the first thing but I would like to think that when you get up in the morning, retired or not, you do have a reason for getting up beyond the necessity of feeding yourself and making it through another day. That is mere survival and does not promote the kind of aliveness and enthusiasm that contributes to successful living.

When our daughters were small one or both of them talked us into buying them a pet rabbit. (Administrator’s note: It was definitely the younger daughter. The older one had rats.)
He was a beautiful white rabbit like the one Alice chased all over in “Through the Looking Glass”. As I recall, they promised to feed it and take care of it but — and those of you who have had children and bought them a pet know what’s coming — I ended up being the one who fed Fluffy (or whatever his name was. I actually think it was Poopy). The reason I mention that otherwise forgettable episode in my life is because, Poopy, er Fluffy didn’t move much. In his defense, we kept him in a small wire mesh cage in the back yard so he had limited opportunity to get out and run. Whenever he did manage to escape, I used up the better part of a morning trying to track him down and usually ended up crawling under a bush in my business suit to recapture him. So because of his, for the most part, inactive lifestyle, all Fluffy had to do was to eat and poop (thus the nickname). The little pellets that we fed him went in one end and came out the other pretty much unchanged in appearance as near as I could tell. That was pretty much Fluffy’s life. Now here’s the part that has to do with you and me.

To the degree our lives mirror Fluffy’s of just getting by, of just marking time, we miss the whole adventure of living.
So, let’s be sure we have a vision for today and tomorrow.
(Read Chapter One in “Build Your Dream: 12 Essential Tools For Successful Living”)

Success thought for today:

“Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and thereby go to their graves with their songs unsung.”
-Henry David Thoreau (Paraphrased)

Byron
www.byronethompson.com

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Part 7

The Best of Your Life for the Rest of Your Life

Living Your Dream After Fifty

You’ve already met some people — if you are a faithful reader of this daily dose of inspiration, as you should be, — who have demonstrated the kind of healthy attitudes that keep them young.
You’ll recall Larry McNutt from Tuesday, June 15 (if not, click back to that post and reread his great example of a positive constructive attitude) and so many of the people I’ve talked to in the process of creating a guide for successful living after age 50.

The more I think about it the more I believe that a positive constructive mental attitude is not a separate thing unto itself but is the essential ingredient for success in all areas of our lives at all times in our lives.
We called it positive thinking in the past but now we are becoming increasingly cognizant of its deeper implications.

I participate in a weekly discussion group with about a dozen other people who are interested, as I am, in the effect of consciousness on our beings and the physical universe as a whole.
The more we explore the relationship of breakthroughs in science and the metaphysical truths, that have been a part of the literature for several thousand years, the more apparent it becomes that our attitudes plays a far more important role in the outcomes in our daily affairs of which most of us have been aware.

I received an email from Boo, as we’ve been discussing this new book, and he said of the five things that will make you happier, the one he felt was most important (and most frequently used) is being grateful
He said,  “We have had a couple of set-backs recently and the thing that brings back my spirits is going over my life and thinking about all the good things that have happened to me. This thinking makes it easy for me to be so grateful and it raises my level of happiness very fast.”
This is the power of taking charge of our lives by taking charge of our attitudes.

There will, obviously be a great deal more discussion on this important topic as the book progresses.

Success thought for today:

“The greatest discovery by my generation is that we can alter our lives by altering our attitudes of mind.”
-William James

Byron
www.byronethompson.com

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Part 6

The Best of Your Life for the Rest of Your Life

Living Your Dream After Fifty

I asked Lou Butler, a former 3M engineer who has been retired for over 20 years, what advice he would give someone retiring today?” He said. “Have a hobby. The people I worked with that didn’t have an interest outside of work had the most difficulty in retirement. Having a hobby causes you to become more creative. You find other talents that you did not use at work and it keeps your mind alive.” I know that Lou practices what he preaches because we served on a committee together and I’ve participated in some discussion groups with him at our church. Eighty years old and as sharp and mentally alert as a much younger man. 

I was reminded of of another eighty year old I met at a 4th of July party last week. Joe was flirting with Patricia so I went over to join their conversation. Naturally, I interviewed him when I found out how old he was. He was spry and an interesting conversationalist. “What advice would you give?” I asked. “Keep active and have a positive attitude.”
Over and over I’m hearing the same advice from the “successful” over-50 year olds.
It reminds me of the lyrics to an old Frankie Laine song “I’m Gonna Live Till I Die.” 
 
These people are telling me that having something they deem to be worthwhile is the thing that keeps them young.
They are actively involved in their lives and are not afraid to take risks.
As Patricia and I have been doing quite a bit of traveling the past few fears we’ve been meeting a lot of adventurous people who are not content to sit at home waiting for life to be over. They are active and unafraid.
They serve as perfect models for us. Many of them have their own “Bucket List” and are sucking every drop out of life that they can.
Let’s go out and courageously embrace the challenge of living.

Success thought for today:

“It costs so much to be a full human being that there are very few who have the enlightenment, or the courage, to pay the price… One has to abandon altogether the search for security, and reach out to the risk of living with both arms. One has to embrace the world like a lover, and yet demand no easy return of love. One has to accept pain as a condition of existence. One has to court doubt and darkness as the cost of knowing. One needs a will stubborn in conflict, but apt always to the total acceptance of every consequence of living and dying.”
-Morris West

Byron
www.byronethompson.com

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Part 5

The Best of Your Life for the Rest of Your Life

Living Your Dream After Fifty

This week I’ll continue the discussion about my next book. (If you’re new to this exciting life enriching blog, just scroll back to last week’s posts to get caught up.)

The subject of money is the most problematic issue to tackle in a book such as mine. Because of the very personal nature of money it is an area that is difficult to address directly.
People, other than CPA types (sorry, Bob), do not treat money in a cold, unemotional, analytical way.
For most of us our financial situations are very private and our net worth is more than just money. Rightly or wrongly, for too many of us it makes a statement about who we are, where we fit in society, and what we are or are not, what we have accomplished or failed to accomplish.

The way we use money and misinterpret its value is one of life’s most fascinating studies.
I have an acquaintance who, in spite of reaching retirement age, still flaunts his money by surrounding himself with conspicuous consumables. He talks about his possessions, as though they were a significant extension of who he is. He makes sure everybody knows how well he’s doing. He still doesn’t get it. He doesn’t get that the only people who care about the kind of car he drives or the house he lives in are people just like him. People who have real values are uninterested and pretty much unimpressed with that kind of superficial display of affluence. (See Chapter 2, Purpose in my soon-to-be-New-York-Times-best-selling book   “Build Your Dream: 12 Essential Tools for Successful Living” and Thomas Stanley’s “The Millionaire Next Door”).  I don’t know about this particular acquaintance of mine but I do know that many people who exhibit that kind of behavior are heavily leveraged (IN DEBT). I know that is the case with another friend of mine. When I asked him about his ostentatious lifestyle he said, “You have to drive a luxury car and live in a prestigious house here. People judge your success by those things and will not do business with you if they don’t think you are successful.” Well, maybe

None of this is an argument against industry and frugality. It is an argument for prudence. He who does not know when he has enough will never have enough.

My experience so far has been that those people who are the most content with their finances are the ones who use money and do not let money use them.
More on this subject as I do more research. As always I’m interested in your input.

Success thought for today:

“Wealth properly employed, is a blessing; and a man may lawfully endeavor to increase it by honest means.”
-Muhammad

Byron
www.byronethompson.com

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Part 4

The Best of Your Life for the Rest of Your Life

Living Your Dream After Fifty 

I live in an area that is “target rich” for interviews and research for my next book.
I play golf, or rather, my version of what could be called golf , a couple of times a week. On Fridays I play with the same great group of guys some of whom are retired and all of whom are over age 50. We socialize together and play together so I get to ask them questions and observe them as they are defining and living their dreams.

Most of us here are pretty physically active. We live in an area where there are a lot of activities such as hiking, tennis, biking, swimming and of course golf, all of which tends to promote healthy living. (Although some of my friends drink too much and they know who they are so I don’t have to name them. )

I am impressed with the high value that they as a rule place on taking care of themselves physically and their recognition of the role that good health plays in contributing to their happiness and well being.

We have a very nice, well-equipped health club that many from our group go to on a regular basis and put forth the extra effort necessary to enjoy all of the recreational opportunities available to us here.

It seems many of us have more time now to pursue a lifestyle of health, wellness and fitness than we did during our working careers. If I had it to do over I would have put in a little more time working out when I was working.
I remember one of my fellow Rotarians, upon being wished a happy birthday, standing up and saying “If I knew I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself.”

I’ll get more specifics on the strategies my friends are employing and how we can adopt and adapt those techniques to our own lives as the book develops. In the mean time if you have specific advice let me know (my email is on the home page, or you can message me on Facebook).

I told you on I’d give you the answer to Boo’s question about enjoying the rest of your life without your health. I referred him to my Tuesday June 15 blog posting. It is the story of my friend Larry McNutt. Pull it up and read it for an idea on how Larry does it without perfect health. 

Have a great week-end. I’ll talk to you on Monday.

Success though for today:

“With health, everything is a source of pleasure; without it, nothing else, whatever it may be, is enjoyable…Health is by far the most important element in human happiness.”
-Arthur Schopenhauer

Byron
www.byronethompson.com

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The Best of Your Life for the Rest of Your Life

Living Your Dream After Fifty

When Boo gave me his answers to the survey, (see Tuesday’s post) he did prioritize his answers in the order I listed them.
He said for him it was especially important to have a solid stable marriage. Since then he has asked the question “How is possible to enjoy any of the other attributes of the ideal retired person if one does not have their health?”
I’ll give you my answer to him tomorrow but your assignment for today is to ponder that question.

Boo said a solid marriage was very important and he should know. He and Gretchen have been married for 59 years. He credits her with much of his success, as I do mine with Patricia.

In the book I intend to broaden the definition of meaningful relationships beyond marriage. I know that there are many of us who have other relationships that contribute to our fulfillment and happiness. Some of those vary in depth and intensity but nonetheless are valuable.

One example of that took place this morning as I sat on the patio having my morning coffee. It was early and the parade of golf course maintenance men began as it does every morning around 6:00 am.
As they go by they wave I hoist my coffee cup in a salute to them and we smile at one another. Sometimes one of them will call out Buenos Dias or good morning. I like this. It makes me feel good. The smile lingers on my face long after they’ve gone by. I only know the names of a few of them but it is an important daily ritual because it unites us in our humanity.

In India people frequently greet one another with the phrase “Namaste” which means ‘I bow to you’ or more deeply interpreted as ‘the God in me beholds the God in you.’

What a great way to connect with another human being. It is a part of successful living. It is a way in which we define and realize ourselves. It removes the separateness created by our egos.
It is why, at any stage in our lives, we must place a high value on the quality of our relationships.
It is also the reason why Dale Carnegie’s definitive work, “How To Win Friends And Influence People”, continues to be so popular all over the world. (If you haven’t read it in awhile I recommend that you do.) It is a book that will help to remind us of the little day-to-day behaviors we can engage in that will enrich all of our relationships.

Success thought for today:

“Become genuinely interested in other people.”
-Dale Carnegie

Byron
www.byronethompson.com

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Part 3

The Best of Your Life for the Rest of Your Life

Living Your Dream After Fifty

Yesterday, an extraordinary event took place. 
To wit: I went to the post office and received a very special card with a note from a good friend and former associate. I read it and reread it and was filled with an overwhelming sense of profound gratitude and love. It was the most meaningful card I’ve ever received.

The card was from Mike Stack, the manager of the Dale Carnegie operation in Portland Oregon. Mike’s message in the card in brief, said “Thank You. …We first met 25 years ago when you hired me….
My life wouldn’t be the same if I had not met you and especially worked with you. I never would have met Stacy and we just celebrated 16 years of marriage. I never would have been inspired enough or had the confidence enough to have joined Rotary, let alone be club president twice.
I am the person today because of your mentoring!” (my italics)

I hope everybody gets a note like that some time in his or her lifetime.
Some years ago I wrote a similar note to the first person that hired me in Dale Carnegie work. I never heard back from him so I don’t know how he felt or if he even got the letter. In it I said “The only way I know to repay you is hire some other young person in whom I see the same potential that you saw in me.”
I hadn’t heard of the concept of pay it forward at the time but I’ve seen it come full circle.

I haven’t talked to Mike, he’s on vacation but when he gets back I’m going to go to Portland and take him to lunch and thank him for the gift he has given me.
I know he is in the process of paying it forward. I’ve seen him in action conducting training programs both professionally and as a guest presenter for the Rotary at their annual RYLA program. He is a man I am proud to call friend and fellow professional.

Here’s the action step that we can take today to “pay it forward”: Think of someone who has contributed greatly to your life and write a meaningful note or letter to him or her such as the one Mike sent to me. I guarantee you they will appreciate it. I know I did.

Success thought for today:

“You can’t give away more than you get back in return.”
Byron Thompson: from Thompson’s Great Laws of Life

Byron
www.byronethompson.com

Happy Birthday, Mike!

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Part 2

The Best of Your Life for the Rest of Your Life

Living Your Dream After Fifty

I sent a description of the portrait of the ideal retired person with an accompanying survey* to my long-time mentor and friend, Boo, (You met him in the Purpose chapter of Build Your Dream: 12 Essential Tools for Successful Living) and asked for his feedback.

After some discussion Boo said he felt that the most important issues for  people in the after 50 category, especially for a retired person are:
1. Health
2. A solid marriage or relationship
3. Financial security
4. Meaningful Activity

Since this tracks with the answers I’m getting as I’m conducting the interviews for the book, I’ve decided to deal with each of those four major issues in separate sections of the book.

These issues are not necessarily prioritized. I’m finding that they take on a different level of importance as a need emerges in that area.
I’ll deal with the first issue tomorrow. See you then.

Success thought for today:

“Spend a few minutes at the end of the day asking and answering the questions:
What am I glad I did today and what do I wish I’d done today?”
Courtesy of Luvain “Boo” Bue

Byron
www.byronethompson.com

* In case you missed the portrait and the survey. Here it is. I’d appreciated comments from any of you who would like to contribute.

I believe a portrait of Ideal Retired Person would be:
1.   He or she has a balanced life mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.
2.   Has a solid marriage or relationship and family.
3.   Has good health and values it and takes care of it.
4.   Has enough money and is wise about it to support themselves according to their values.
5.   Is psychologically mature ala Maslow.
6.   Has meaningful work or activity by their definition.
7.   Is able to use their highest and best skills.
8.   Is both growth and goal oriented. Not rocking chair happy.
9.   Gives back to society financially and in non-material contributions.  
 

The questions I’d like to ask and would appreciate your answers to, are as follows:
Do you agree or disagree with the above description?
What would you change about it?
What have you discovered about retirement, good and bad?
What advice would you give to a person about to retire?

To all of you who respond to the survey:
Your answers will insure your immortality because you’ll be acknowledged as a contributor and you’ll receive an autographed copy of the book when it is published. If you fail to answer the questions you’ll receive 2 copies of the book!
email me at byron @ byronethompson.com

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Living Your Dream After Fifty

“How are you doing on your next book?” Jay asked me on the phone today.
So I thought that I’d better answer that for him and for the thousands of others of you who are curious.

The title of today’s blog is the working book title. (Let me know what you think.)

Here’s the premise of the book: There is a fundamental shift that takes place in our thinking at or about this stage of our lives. This shift calls for a new way of thinking and a different set of strategies in order to live life fully and abundantly.

My first book; “Build Your Dream: 12 Essential Tools for Successful Living” is geared to achieving success and happiness in our day-to-day lives as we are growing and maturing, typically while pursuing our careers, raising our families and finding out who we are.  
  
Now in one form or another, for an increasingly large percentage of our population, called baby-boomers, priorities are shifting.
What was important at age 35 is no longer commanding our full attention and compelling us to act after we pass what is, hopefully, the halfway mark in our lives.

We’re starting to ask the question, “What do I want to do with the rest of my life?”
In many cases we’ve achieved what we wanted to do with our careers, our families are raised and starting their own lives and, if we’ve been prudent, we have our financial house in order.
Now we’re ready to explore the next chapter in our lives.

Saying this, I know these are broad generalizations and do not exactly apply to everyone. Some of you are younger than age 50 and some are older. Some are not yet asking the questions yet or may not be experiencing the constructive discontent I referred to in the blog post entitled, “The Second Chapter” posted on May 25. (You can scroll back to that post and any of the other witty, life changing previous posts at no cost, at any time.)

This week I will tell you more about the progress of the new book, the approaches I’m taking and most importantly what it means to you.

Success thought for today:

"Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass;
It’s about learning to dance in the rain."
Courtesy of L.G. "Boo" Bue

See you tomorrow.

Byron
www.byronethompson.com

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