So we said on Wednesday, let’s recognize and learn from the talents of others. Yesterday we said we could profit greatly from recognizing and using our own talents. Both of those actions will benefit us greatly in terms of personal progress in our growth and development.

There is, however, a step beyond those two actions that will produce even greater rewards for us.

Boo Bue is one of the most giving, generous human beings I’ve ever known. We’re getting ready to celebrate his 88^th birthday next month and I’m looking forward to an update on his progress with a young man who he has been mentoring for the past several years. The way in which Boo mentors Jaime is the same way he mentored me and the others who will be honoring him on his special day. He does it with generous portions, as Dale Carnegie suggested in “How To Win Friends And Influence People”, of honest, sincere appreciation and liberal doses of challenge. (For a wonderful example of his mentoring of me, re-read, “Build Your Dream: 12 Essential Tools For Successful Living” Chapter 3 Thinking.) He did what you and I need to do if we are going to reap that reward that is greater than those we received from our actions of the past two days. He is always interested in people, not for what they can do for him but what he can do for them. He does this by questioning, as I suggested on Wednesday, listening to their achievements and praising them for their successes then challenging them to take the next step in becoming all that they can be.

I recently asked Boo what the payoff was for him in working with the often-times discouraging task of trying to get people do what they need to do but are resistant to doing.

His answer was not surprising. “The satisfaction I get when they do make progress.”

So here it is for today and this week. To reap the greatest amount of satisfaction and rewards in discovering the gifts and talents of others and ourselves, let’s let people know what we respect and admire about them and feel the satisfaction from knowing that we’ve contributed to their growth as Boo has to so many.

Success thought for today:

“Everyone has talent. What is rare is the courage to follow the talent to the dark place where it leads.”
-Erica Jong

Byron

www.byronethompson.com

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As we have been out looking for the talents in others we must also put ourselves in their shoes. If they are also looking at us as possible heroes or models, we must ask our selves ”What do they see?” When Emerson said ‘every person is my superior in some way’, we must also recognize that we are also every person’s superior. What is that way? In what way are we superior? In an earlier post I said we do not give ourselves enough appreciation. (Self Appreciation)

We can uncover, discover or re-discover our own talents by examining our daily interests, activities and attitudes towards them.

As we do we can begin to marvel at ourselves and regard ourselves with awe. This can be tricky because our fragile little egos can be easily deceived by our misinterpretation of our “talents”. It is not what we say but rather what we do that really determines our true talents. When people talk about how great they are we are immediately suspicious of how good they really are or what would cause them to try to elevate themselves in our or perhaps their own eyes. That lack of humility does not impress anyone except the very naïve.

Benjamin Franklin said in effect, that he gave up on working on humility because he was afraid if he ever made any progress on it he would become too proud of it. So if we are to become awesome to others and an inspiration to them, let us this day let our actions do our talking for us.

One of my favorite biblical stories is the Parable of The Talents.
The one in which the master gave the greatest rewards to the servant who had made the most of the talents of money left in his care. (I am a real amateur when it comes to the Bible. I’d recommend a reading of the actual story for a more accurate explanation of the parable. Matthew 25: 14-30.)

So today’s action plan is for us to not only identify our own gifts and talents but to put them to use.

Success thought for today:

“Hide not your talents, they for Use were made.
What’s a Sun-Dial in the shade!”
-Benjamin Franklin

Byron
www.byronethompson.com

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I sat the other morning, enjoying breakfast at my favorite café.
It’s a popular place in town and there was a warm feeling that came from the dozen or so early morning diners and the buzz of conversation that enveloped the room added to the ambiance.

One of the things that stood out for me was the attitude of Mellie, the cook. It’s an open kitchen so we can see her as she performs her magic. Her food is great and I think it’s because she really loves what she does and has a special talent for cooking.

Mellie, like all of us possesses a talent for what she does. Too many times I think, we too narrowly define talent assigning it only to athletes, performers and artists.

We have an opportunity to enrich our day to day living by recognizing the talents in others in all walks of life. In the same way we marvel at and are in awe of the more visible professionals who perform and entertain us with their highly developed skills we can get the same inspiring, uplifting feeling from everyone we encounter during the day.

Emerson said, “Every person I meet is my superior in some way…” Those superior attributes and talents are the things to watch for.

Emerson went on to say, “…in that way I learn from him or her.”

So here’s the value for us in looking for the talents in others, the lessons that can be learned so that we can adopt the attitudes and behaviors of other in areas where they have skills that are greater than ours.

Let’s make this a project for today to look at each person we meet as an artist with a unique set of talents that are worthy of emulation.

We might have to do a little digging in the form of questioning to uncover those talents. I gave you a perfect vehicle for that in the post ‘Innerview’. If you go back and review it you can begin today to enrich your relationships with others and increase you daily satisfaction.

Success thought for today:

“A true talent delights the possessor first.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Byron
www.byronethompson.com

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I just hung up the phone from talking to one of my oldest and dearest friends, Eddie Snow. He told me about a week long fishing trip that he took by himself in the mountains north of his home in California. He is totally at peace with himself especially while out enjoying nature, fishing and hunting. He is an outstanding family man and is totally devoted to his grandchildren.

Eddie and I were colleagues in Dale Carnegie work for many years. We’re both retired now and we don’t see one another as much as we used to but he is one of my heroes, and I learned a lot from him and I owe him for his guidance, inspiration, and financial support during a time when I was going through a rough patch. But, especially for his friendship. When he was active running his Dale Carnegie business, he was admired by his peers all over the world for his talent and his no-nonsense practical approach to business.

Eddie was always reminding me to not think so much and just get into action. As an example, on one occasion, when I was living in Chico, he came up to Yuba City to form a Dale Carnegie class in which I was to be the instructor. So, we were working together making sales calls enrolling people in the class,

We’d work late then go out for dinner and back to the motel where we were staying.

It would have been my preference to get up, go have a leisurely breakfast around 9:00 a.m. and “strategize” the plan for the day.

But that was not to be with Eddie. He’d knock on my door at 6:30 a.m. and say “Let’s get going; I’ve got an appointment at 7:00.”

When I’d lamely bring up the breakfast “planning meeting” idea he’d always go into his exaggerated Oklahoma accent and quote Emerson, “Thinkin’ don’t do it. Doin’ do it. That’s Jake Emerson from Granite, Oklahoma.”

He practiced that philosophy in everything he did. As past president of the Oakland Rotary Club he will always be remembered and appreciated for his undertaking and successfully completing the development of the Rotary Children’s Park.

He reminded me then and reminds me now to get into action and make things happen.

Let’s follow his advice in whatever worthwhile endeavor we undertake. Let’s get into action.

Success thought for today

“Better to make a net than to yearn for fish at the edge of the pond.”
Chinese Proverb (Eddie would say the same thing I’m sure.)

Byron
www.byronethompson.com

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Perhaps you read the story a couple of weeks ago about 130 year old Antisa Khvichava in Georgia, once a part of the Soviet Union.

She said, “I’ve always been healthy and worked all my life.” She was born in 1880, worked as a tea and corn picker and retired in 1965 at the age of 85. She lives with her 40-year-old grandson and stays mentally active by playing chess with him.

I don’t know if you and I will live to be 130 or even if we want to. (I might want to if I thought I could learn to play chess by then.)

We can’t do a great deal about the length of our lives, aside from the obvious well-documented health habits i.e. diet and exercise, but we do have the ability to control the depth of our lives.

We can do that with our attitudinal approach to living each day.

Thirty years ago, I was teaching a Dale Carnegie class in Redding, California and had a group of managers from Kimberly Clark Paper Company participating in it. The company policy was to pay for any manager who wanted to take the course.

On the first evening of the course I asked everyone to stand and introduce him or herself and tell us a little bit about why they were taking the course. When Ike’s turn came he said, “I’m a manager in the mill, I’m 64 years old and I’m retiring in 6 months when I turn 65.”

I was just a kid and couldn’t relate to being 65 so I asked him, “Ike, why in the world do you want to take a personal development program at 65 when you’re getting ready to retire? You obviously don’t need it for your job.” I’ll never forget his answer. He said, “When I do retire I want to keep going; I don‘t want to rust out I want to wear out.” (my italics)

The message for all of us is to stay in the game as long as possible and get the most out of every day. Stay active and, ideally work with a purpose. (See Chapter 2 in “Build Your Dream: 12 Essential Tools For successful Living.)

Success thought for today:

“This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish selfish clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy. I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and as long as I live it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work, the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no ‘brief candle’ to me. It is sort of a splendid torch which I have a hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it over to future generations”.
-George Bernard Shaw

Byron
www.byronethompson.com

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Yesterday we talked about the quantitative measures of goal attainment. Today let’s consider the qualitative measures.

That is the more important consideration, in my opinion, in goal setting. That character trait that reflects one’s ethical values must be considered before a goal can be deemed as worthy. Those highest and most closely cherished virtues must be brought into play.

I’m persuaded that the sweet taste that accompanies success of any kind is only available to us to the degree that it meets our own values’ “test for fit.”

Perhaps I place such high value on ethics because it was a long uphill struggle for me to make what I consider to be significant progress in that area. (I’m sure you’ll understand that the specifics of that struggle will be best left for a future writing. )

I remember my Sunday school teacher quoting the Bible where it says: “What profits a man if he gains the whole world but loses his soul?” I believe that refers to the same issue as compromising our values to achieve a goal. (Disclaimer: I am not preaching to anyone except that select group of my friends who really need it and they know who they are!)

When I was given the honor and the privilege of becoming a Dale Carnegie Instructor, Mr. Carnegie’s words in the instructor’s manual impacted me greatly. The quotation that had the greatest impact, and I remember it to this day was, “There is no place in this training for anything but unswerving integrity.” (my italics)

Those words tasted sweet in mouth then and still do to this day. To tell the truth became my value, both in and out of the training room.

So I invite you to overlay your own values on your goals as you prepare to move forward into the next chapter of your life, whatever that might be.

Success thoughts for today:

Virtue: Moral excellence and righteousness; goodness.
Integrity: Steadfast adherence to a strong moral or ethical code
-The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language

Byron
www.byronethompson.com

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We’ve either answered the questions from yesterday’s post or at least started to answer them. (If you haven’t done this yet, when will you do it?)

As I looked ahead to setting specific goals and taking action as a result of my answers I found there are two necessary steps to do this properly. One of those is the obvious quantitative step we take in goal setting. The more important consideration for us in setting goals or taking action of any type is the qualitative one. By that I mean, how do my values overlay on that goal or action?

I’ll talk about that more tomorrow.

For today let’s review the fundamentals of quantifying our goals. This is probably not new to most of you but it doesn’t hurt to review.

Essentially it means putting measurements on our goals such as amounts, time frames, percentages etc.

The formula that I found most helpful during my business career in planning and goal setting, and am able to apply now is the SMART formula, SMART being the acronym for the components for measuring our goals to test them for their effectiveness.

We ask ourselves, “Are they…

1. SPECFIC?

2. MEASURABLE?

3. ATTAINABLE?

4. REALISTIC?

5. TIME PHASED?

A simple example is a vacation trip Patricia and I are planning this summer:

We are leaving our home in Southern Arizona on the specific date we’ve selected and have worked out the driving times between our pre-selected destinations.

We’ve contacted the people we want to see on our way north in California, Oregon, British Columbia, and Colorado.

We’ve selected the sights we want to see and, without being overly anal retentive, have made some of our motel reservations in advance.

We’ve worked out our budget so we know that we have the resources to make the trip comfortably

We have arranged to have the car serviced before we leave and have arranged to have the house taken care of and the two pit bulls that guard it fed. (I’m just kidding about the dogs. I thought it would make the house safer if everybody thought they were there. )

You’ve probably done a similar kind of planning for your vacations in the past so this is not new.

I use this example because I’ve heard that most people spend more time planning their vacations than they do their careers or other important activities in their lives.

My question for all of us is how can we overlay the SMART formula on the important areas of our lives.

Email me and let me know.

Success thought for today:

“Do not wait until you are thirsty to dig a well.”
Chinese Proverb

Byron
www.byronethompson.com

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For the past couple of days I’ve told you about some people who are experiencing the challenge of the next chapter in their lives in ways that are of interest to us all.

Monday I told you about Bob, who has found the right balance of meaningful activity and balance in his “retirement.”

Yesterday I told you about my friend Don who had just retired and is looking for the answer to the question, “What’s next?” I’ll be seeing Don again this week and I think I can help him and possibly you.

I’m going to give him a list of questions that Tina, a friend of mine, just sent to me. She said, “I rediscovered this information for setting goals from Melody Beattie’s book “The Language of Letting Go”, and I thought you would appreciate it. I am going to start working on these.”

We don’t have to wait until we “retire” to do the kind of introspection required from answering these questions. I’m going to start to work on them for myself, encourage Don to answer them and, regardless of your age, I invite you to join us in answering them and get an even clearer picture of what your ideal future might look like.

Here they are:

What would I like to accomplish?

What would I like to attract in my life?

What particular areas of growth would I like to happen?

What blocks would I like to have removed?

What would I like to attain?  (little things, big things)

Where would I like to go?

What would I like to have happen in friendship and love?

What would I like to have happen in my family life?

What problems would I like to see solved?

What would I like to have happen in my career?

What decisions would I like to make?

What would I like to see happen inside and around me?

Success thought for today:

“The high peak of knowledge is perfect self-knowledge.”
-Richard of Saint-Victor

Byron
www.byronethompson.com

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I had a very interesting lunch with a top quality guy last week. Don recently retired at age 57 after a 27-year career in the insurance business. As I interviewed him for my upcoming book, I expected him to tell me he was looking forward to kicking back and enjoying retirement.

That, however, was not the case. It took him very little time, two months,  to feel the sense of “constructive discontent” I spoke of in my May 24th and 25th posts; go back to those posts and re-read them for a clearer understanding of this common retirement phenomenon. 
Most everyone else, I’ve been interviewing took more time, as I did, to start to feel as though there was something “not quite right,” something missing.  

Don is already looking at his options. He is not a malcontent or a griper. He likes his former company. He doesn’t want the management responsibility he had in his old job but he would consider going back to work for them in a different capacity. He couldn’t say enough about the quality and integrity of his former employer. He is also looking at the ways in which he can be more involved with his church, to make a greater contribution there. Another option that he is considering is to buy a buy a motor home, tour the country and visit all those places that he always wanted to see.

Don’s restlessness and search for the next chapter in his life comes from experiencing a void that needs to be filled.
We are all looking to fill that void in our lives with the substance or activity, which will make us the happiest.
I contend that that can best be achieved by truly knowing ourselves. (For a further explanation of this, read my first book “Build Your Dream: 12 Essential Tools For Successful Living.”)

Success thought for today:

“This is…self-knowledge—for a man to know what he knows, and what he does not know.”
-Socrates

Byron
www.byronethompson.com

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My uncle Bob Wagner celebrated his 83rd birthday on July 10th. I called him on that day, as he was getting ready to have cake and home-made ice cream with the family. My mouth watered when he mentioned the ice cream. It brought memories of the times we used to make it.

There are many things that make Bob a remarkable man and a positive role model for all of us, especially in the next chapter of our lives.

During the first six years of my life our family lived on my grandfather’s farm, where Bob taught me a host of life lessons. One of the values I learned indirectly from him was the relationship between effort and rewards. He taught my brother and me how to make the same home-made ice cream he was making for his birthday party. For a vivid example of his mentorship, go back to my post Effort, Anticipation, Reward; you’ll find it beneficial. See the post Meaningful Activity also.

To this day, Bob sets positive examples with his commitment to staying active and using his considerable intelligence, skills, experience and creativity in a productive way.

He is the founder and Chairman of the Board of Capitol Aluminum and Glass Corporation in Bellevue, Ohio, and, although officially retired, he still goes into the office every day and works. I say “works”, though to hear the enthusiasm in his voice as he describes his activities inventing new pieces of machinery to increase productivity, efficiency and profitability for his company, it sounds more like play.

Bob reminds me all over again how much richer our lives are when we are engaged in meaningful activity. Let’s follow this very successful man’s example and be sure that we are busy doing things that benefit others while at the same time contributing to our own aliveness and happiness.

Success thought for today:

“Happiness is an effect and knowledge a mere instrument of successful activity.”
-Bertrand Russell

Byron
www.byronethompson.com

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