My good news for today is for everybody who is either over the age of 50 or hopes to be someday.
(Remember the “beats the alternative philosophy.”)

In case you missed it, a recent study reported in USA Today states that as we get older, we tend to become less stressed, and happier.
The study “confirms earlier studies on overall life satisfaction which shows that perceptions of well-being become more positive after 50.”
This tracks with the interviewing I’ve been doing in conjunction with writing  the sequel to my soon to be N.Y. times best selling book , “Build Your Dream: 12 Essential Tools for Successful Living.”

While writing my first book, I sat one evening at dinner next to Daisy, (not her real name) a vivacious, attractive woman who seemed to be more than a little obsessed with herself. I asked her if she agreed with my fundamental premise that having a purpose in life was essential to satisfaction and happiness.
She said, “I believe the purpose of life is to be happy.” As the evening wore on we never did get into anything that would qualify as meaningful conversation. In fact she demonstrated all of the qualities of a “bore.” (My definition of a bore is someone who doesn’t talk about me. )

Daisy never once indicated that her happiness consisted of anything other than self-indulgence. I understood her because I’ve done a fair share of self-indulging in my own life. I have come appreciate that there other contributors to happiness as we mature and pass the age of 50. (Daisy, in spite of her doing a good job of fighting the ravages of time was and looked a good deal older than 50.)
When I spoke to the Tubac Forum, an audience of seniors all of whom were past the age of 50, last month, I gave them this handout with a recipe for happiness.

5 THINGS THAT WILL MAKE YOU HAPPIER
BE GRATEFUL
BE OPTIMISTIC
COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS
USE YOUR STRENGTHS
COMMIT ACTS OF KINDNESS

I’d add a sense of humor.

Success thought for today;

“You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.”
-Bob Hope

Byron
www.byronethompson.com

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While on our trans-Atlantic cruise I had the time to catch up on some reading that I’d hadn’t had time to do. One of those books was Daniel Pink’s, “A Whole New Mind.”

I won’t attempt to review it for you but I will recommend it as a very useful tool for understanding many of the changes that our taking place in our society and our economy. He includes ways in which we can cope and adapt to these changes.

One of his recommendations is that we become adept at telling stories. One exercise that he recommended to help us be better storytellers was drawn from a contest sponsored by London’s Telegraph newspaper.
The Telegraph called it a mini saga contest and the rules are simple. Write a mini saga of no more nor less than 50 words. 
It must contain a beginning, middle and an end. You can choose any topic. I chose to write saga of my life. I recommend that you try it.

Here’s mine.

FAILURE FORCED ME ON THE ROAD IN SEARCH OF ADVENTURE AND MEANING.

IT TOOK ME FROM, SANDUSKY, TOKYO, MIAMI, BARCELONA TO PORTLAND WHERE I STRUCK GOLD.

IT WASN’T THERE. IT WAS INSIDE OF ME THE WHOLE TIME.

I WANTED OTHERS TO KNOW WHERE TO LOOK. SO I WROTE MY BOOK.

Have a great weekend. See you Monday.

Byron
www.byronethompson.com

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Don Kline is a fascinating guy. He gives beautifully illustrated Power Point lectures, using his photographs, on cruise liners for six months of the year and by his own description he lives in a “bunker” in Florida for six months of the year where he reads and studies.
He has played percussion instruments in a San Francisco-based Brazilian group that once appeared with The Grateful Dead. One of the three hats he wears is that of the official bibliographer for the Columbian Nobel Prize winning writer Gabriel Garcia Marquez 

I met Don on my recent trip to Spain and found that he has his own formula for a fulfilled happy life in ”retirement.” After a successful career as a photographer in San Francisco he sold his business to his partner and at age 55 began a new phase of his life.

Don combined his life long interest in travel and his career as a professional photographer to produce a life worth living.

He is an example of a person who is creating the conditions and circumstances that contribute to satisfaction in the next chapter of his life. He has done it by finding the meaningful activity for himself that I wrote about last week.

I related it to my own experience of discovering, after selling my business, my own meaningful activity of assisting individuals in living rich, satisfying lives through my writing and speaking.

I asked Don to sum up his philosophy for successful living in the second chapter of ones life. He said, “Being productive on a daily basis, not necessarily for money.” I felt I was today (after his lecture) and I grew as a result of it.
To me, Don Kline has a life worth living and has found a recipe that we can all use.

Let’s look for ways we can put our talents to use to be “productive on a daily basis” and find our own meaning.

Success thought for today:
“The meaning of life is the meaning you decide to give it.”
-Viktor Frankl
“Man’s Search For Meaning”

Byron
www.byronethompson.com

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As you may know, Patricia and I’ve just recently returned from a 30-day European vacation, which included that cruise I mentioned last week when I talked about leisure. I am now working on the next step in assisting you and me in creating a life worth living.

Patricia and I cruised from Miami to Barcelona and visited the island of Madera, Casablanca Morocco, France and Spain. As a part of my research for my next book, I conducted a number of interviews with people who are transitioning into the next chapter of their lives. Those are people over the age of 50 who are either retired or are anticipating retirement.  
The observations I’ve made so far will be of interest to any of you who are in that category or know of someone who is.

While in Marbella on the Costa del Sol in southern Spain I was interviewed by Hannah Murray on her Talk Europe Radio show. We mostly talked about my current book “Build Your Dream: 12 Essential Tools for Successful Living” and I told her about the follow up book I’m working on, tentatively titled “Live Your Dream: Designing The Next Chapter of Your Life.” It is consistent with my purpose in life of helping the maximum number of people in achieving their full potential.
I’ve extrapolated from that general purpose a more specific mission:

“To enhance the lives of the huge, emerging Baby Boomer market entering into their retirement years, looking for meaning and direction.”

I see this project as being not only valuable for the individual, but for society as a whole.
I believe there is no separating the individual’s long-term interests from those of society as a whole. If we take the macro view of life it gives us a greater appreciation of our role in the universe.

I’ll close with a poem I wrote while sitting one morning on the cruise having my coffee and staring at the ocean. I believe this serves to understand more about our own ever-changing transitioning selves.

THE WAVE

Would that I were you,
Without your self consciousness,
Being ocean, now wave.
You are one—and the same.
As I am with humanity;
Cursed with our egos that force
us into thinking our wave is, distinct  
separate and better from the whole of the ocean.
We miss the serenity of the Oneness.

Byron
www.byronethompson.com   

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So, what did Service mean when he said “Life’s not what I thought it?”

I wondered about it, and while I have a clearer idea now, I didn’t know what to do with that vague feeling of angst I felt then. The answers I’ve discovered will be of especial interest to any of you who have experienced similar emotions.
In a way I felt that I was being deprived of the happiness I’d earned. Wasn’t life supposed to be satisfaction and contentment after you retired?

It was during my ruminations during those sweet hours and days of relaxation and leisure that I came to understand that satisfaction and contentment are only temporary. I understood what Service meant when he said—“and somehow the gold isn’t all.”

I understood what Henry David Thoreau meant when he said; “Many men fish their whole lives without realizing it is not fish they are after.”

What it meant to me was that while I was working, pursuing my dream, living my purpose (See: “Build Your Dream” Chapter Two – Purpose) and did enjoy periods of satisfaction, it was only in contrast to the more fulfilling rewards of the work itself.

So it was no real surprise to me when I woke up at three a.m. one morning and started to write my book. I had never written anything before that could be called a book. (Before my wiseass friends say that hasn’t changed, bear in mind that I do receive royalty checks.)

That did it for me. I discovered the value of getting into action; action that I deemed to be worthwhile. I was still pursuing my major purpose in life of helping the maximum number of people to realize their potential. I was doing it in a different way. I was still using my creative talents only in writing rather than teaching and speaking.

If I had any advice for you from this experience it is to be grateful for the feelings of constructive discontent. It is a signal that there is something better for you in waiting.

Success thought for today:

“Reward of an act is to have done it.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Byron
www.byronethompson.com

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As was our custom at sunset, Patricia and I were sitting on the terrace of our home on the Costa del Sol, overlooking the Mediterranean, enjoying some tapas and a glass of Crianza from the Rioja region of Spain. I was thinking “Life doesn’t get any better than this. I am living my dream.” I had sold my business and was enjoying the slow pace of life in Spain.

Like many people, I thought retirement was the idyllic condition of living the “good life”.   I’d planned, worked for, and achieved it by using the tools I detailed in “Build Your Dream: 12 Essential Tools for Successful Living.”

I knew from the failures I’d observed what success was not. It was not Thoreau’s, “life of quiet desperation” with one going to their grave with their “song unsung.” 
It was living fully while using all of one’s talents to live a worthwhile life. Hadn’t I done that? Hadn’t I paid my dues?
I’d found my purpose. I’d sung my song or so I thought. But there was a quiet nagging in the back of my mind that I was feeling during my reveries on these wonderful warm spring evenings. I kept hearing a little voice in the back of my mind repeating the opening lines of Robert W. Service’s poem, The Spell of the Yukon.

“ I wanted the gold and I sought it;
I scrabbled and mucked like a slave. 
Was it famine or scurvy-I fought it;
I hurled my youth into a grave.
I wanted the gold and I got it-
Came out with a fortune last fall.
Yet life’s not what I thought it,
And somehow the gold isn’t all.”

More about that, and what it means to you and me tomorrow.
Byron
www.byronethompson

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Last week, I gave you a description of what I believe to be a fulfilled, satisfied person living in retirement or the second chapter of their life.
I don’t know this for sure at this point in my research, but you can help and thereby have an opportunity to do some serious introspection and make a meaningful contribution to my upcoming literary epic.

Please go back to the last post and review that description and, wherever you are in your life, and give me some feedback. The questions I’d like to ask and would appreciate your answers to, are as follows:

1. Do you agree or disagree with that description?

2. What would you change about it?

3. What have you discovered or observed about retirement, good and bad?

4. What advice would you give to a person about to retire?

5. Comments including your age and where you are relative to retirement.

Your answers will insure your immortality because you’ll be acknowledged as a contributor and you’ll receive an autographed copy of the book when it is published. If you fail to answer the questions you’ll receive two copies of the book.

Success Thought for Today:

“I am now at the age where I’ve got to prove that I’m just as good as I never was.”
-Rex Harrison

Byron
www.byronethompson.com

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The concept of a traditional “retirement” is passé. The people I’m meeting, at what was once considered to be the ages of retirement, are not content to sit and whittle, (Does anyone whittle anymore?)

They want action. And they want it to be meaningful activity. They want a second or in some cases third career or chapter in their lives.

I have an idea of what one would look like in that chapter or phase of their lives.

I believe a portrait of Ideal Retired Person would be:

1. He or she has a balanced life mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.

2. Has a solid marriage or relationship and family.

3. Has good health and values it and takes care of it.

4. Has enough money and is wise about it to support themselves according to their values.

5. Is psychologically mature ala Maslow.

6. Has meaningful work or activity by their definition.

7. Is able to use their highest and best skills.

8. Is both growth and goal oriented. Not rocking chair happy.

9. Gives back to society financially and in non-material contributions.

10.He or she engages in those activities that promote those conditions.

Success Thought for Today:

"I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day."
  ~E.B. White

Byron
www.byronethompson.com

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In spite of what I said yesterday about leisure activity, it is not inconsistent with my philosophy of life that one must also work even in retirement.

Based on my preliminary research for my next book, my working premise is that meaningful activity is the sine qua non for a satisfying life. There are a number of factors that are also important such as health, financial security and relationships, but the issue of having something worthwhile to do keeps coming up in my interviews. I intend to pursue that angle but am not locked in on that being the only answer.

I’d like to conduct one hundred interviews with people in my target demographics and as them to verify, refute and/or add to my assumptions. I know that my methods do not contain the rigor of a professional research project but I do believe I’ll be able to extrapolate enough legitimate data including supportive incident type examples to produce a valuable, helpful book. I’d like to include your responses in the book.

Success Thought for Today:

"Some are very busy, and yet do nothing."
-Thomas Fuller

Byron
www.byronethompson.com

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Those of you who have been following my blog for the past six months must think all I do is sit and obsesses about making our lives, yours and mine, better. (For those of you who might be new you can go back to January 1st, 2010 and read my earlier gems.)

While my purpose in life is to assist the maximum number of people in using their full potential to achieve success and happiness, I do take time to slow down, relax and think.

As an example Patricia, my wife, [Side note to any of you guys who may have missed Husband School 101; Do not introduce her as “I would like you to meet “my wife” Patricia” That suggests that she is your chattel or a possession. They do not like that. Take my word for it.], and I recently took a 2 week transatlantic cruise where I did nothing but sit, read and think. It was an excellent opportunity for me to recharge my batteries and to prepare for the next chapter in my life, namely the writing of my next book.

I cannot overemphasize the value in taking time to think and engage in leisure activities. I hope you are building leisure time into your days.

Success Thought for Today:

“The superficiality of the American is the result of his hustling. It needs leisure to think things out; it needs leisure to mature. People in a hurry cannot think, cannot grow.
-Eric Hoffer

Byron
www.byronethompson.com

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