Frequently, when I sit down to write this blog, I have just returned from an aerobic walk with Patricia. Because health, wellness and fitness, the focus of my 90-day goal, are values we share, that time together is what I call both and profitable action and quality time.

Our theme this week has been time. Today I’m focusing on how I use my time. It is such a precious non-renewable resource it deserves to be treated more respectfully. I don’t always do that.

In a previous post I talked about the fundamentals of time management (See Time 1/21/10). Today’s posting is about the quality of our lives. When I’m engaged in an activity that is moving me toward my goals, that is “Profitable Action”.
When I’m involved in an activity that is contributing to the pure enjoyment of my existence, I consider that to be quality time.

I make that distinction because I believe it is imperative that we recognize the difference between the length of our lives and the depth of our lives. The first is largely beyond our control. We can do certain things to add years to our lives, or at least keep from shortening them. By taking care of our health, i.e. not smoking, controlling our weight, avoiding stress etc. we can improve our odds of living longer.
On many occasions, I’ve sat with Patricia and friends and glass of wine, watching the sun set into the Pacific Ocean in front the front deck of our house. More than once, I’ve made the observation that, “None of us know how many sunsets we have left”. (I don’t always wax that philosophical but a good glass of Oregon Pinot Noir will do that to you.)
I never intend for that observation to be dismal or lugubrious but rather as a reminder of the specialness of the present experience.
As my golfing buddy, Mike, puts it “Life is too short to not do the things we enjoy doing.”

This is one of the reasons I’ve put so much emphasis on finding our purpose in life. If we are engaged in what we consider to be worthwhile or purposeful activities, our lives have meaning.
I don’t think we need to spend all of time doing those things that will ensure us of sainthood. (That is some very good news for a number of my friends, and they know who they are.) I do think life is important enough to be taken seriously.
So as we plan our days, let’s build quality into as many hours as possible. Ideally those activities will also be moving us in the direction of our goals, which makes it even better.

Success thought for today:

“LIFE, LIKE ART, SHOULD BE THE CELEBRATION OF A VISION.”
-Michael Larsen

Byron
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I am currently serving as Vice-President and chairman of a committee at my church responsible for providing a future home for our congregation. We’re a small but committed group, meeting in a location that has sold. We are forced to make a move to another location.
I attended our monthly board of trustees meeting to assess the current thinking of the other Trustees. After hearing the treasurer’s report on the nitty gritty of dealing with the day-to-day economics of running the church, I realized a new kind of thinking would be necessary.
In order to create a solution to the challenge facing us, we won’t be able to use conventional planning tools, based on our financial history. As I pointed out yesterday, that approach is too limiting.
The new thinking required must be of the creative type I referred to. “No duh”, as Ana and Michelle, my daughters used to say to me, before they developed the deep reverence and respect they have for my opinions now.

Well, I know that is obvious. What is not so obvious is where that new level of creativity must come from. Many times when undertaking a task of this magnitude, we’ll access our sub-conscious-minds in the form of meditation or prayer to search for the answers we need. This is a necessary but not sufficient approach. This is a normal path for us to take when we want to be in a creative mode and solve a problem. But many times the more creative ones amongst us tend to prefer to work alone. This suggests that there is a resource available to us if we know how to use it.

What our church must do, and perhaps would apply for you as you tackle a “biggie” in your life, is to recognize that we can’t do it alone. A “biggie” might be, “How do I get more customers? Or “How do I find the right job for me?” or “How do I sell my business?” or “How can our club increase its membership?”

Here are 5 steps we can take to achieve our goals:

1) Pull a group of people who have a stake in the situation together and enlist their cooperation in finding the solution to the problem. I, as an example, will make a presentation to our congregation and tell them what we need to do and ask people who are interested in the future viability of our church to bring their best ideas to a solution finding meeting.

2) Remind ourselves that people will support a world they help to create.

3) Teach them how to do the kind of necessary creative thinking needed to find the solution.

4) Help them tap into their own right-brain thinking to look to the future.

5) Set small attainable goals that are within in the capabilities of the individual members of the group, have them execute and praise them publicly for there accomplishments.

If this doesn’t work, let’s ask the group what would work and persist until we achieve our goal.

Success thought for today:

“IMAGINATION IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN KNOWLEDGE. KNOWLEDGE IS LIMITED. IMAGINATION ENCIRCLES THE WORLD.”
-Albert Einstein

Byron
byronethompson.com

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I’m having my morning coffee on the patio in my garden, enjoying the view of the tree-lined golf course. It’s a beautiful cool morning and both the coffee and the beauty of the nature surrounding me are being enjoyed in the present. You’ll recall, I spoke yesterday about living in the present.
I prepared the coffee last night so this morning I had but to press the button and voila 10 minutes later I had my coffee.
Going back further in time, I looked ahead to the future and the kind of lifestyle I wanted for my family and myself. So I saved and invested and when the time came I was able to fulfill my dream. (How to do this is spelled out brilliantly in my potentially life changing, soon, very soon, to be, best selling book. “Build Your Dream: 12 Essential Tools for Successful Living”.

There are two kinds of “Futuring”, both of which I consider to be essential tools in creating a life worth living. They are planning and creative thinking.
I planned for the coffee based on my previous experience.
I created an investment account that made buying the house possible. By that, I mean, I had to envision a journey and a destination I had not been on or gone to before.
Planning is fairly easy. There are methodical steps to be taken and the process can be, and in fact is learned by all of us.
Creative thinking requires an additional, almost spiritual dimension.
In planning we are frequently limited by our histories and our self-concepts. What we can do is based on our experiences.
True creative thinking allows for no limitations.
I’ve developed and used these two essential tools over the course of my career and lifetime and have detailed them in the book. They’ve rewarded me beyond anything I could have imagined when I started out on my adventured in life.
Thus we have the tools to create a satisfying life in the present by building our futures both short and long term, as is the case with our 90-day project and our long-range goals.
Good luck.

Success thought for today:

“THE FUTURE BELONGS TO THOSE WHO FUSE INTELLIGENCE WITH FAITH—”
-Charles E. Merriam

Byron
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One of my favorite Zen stories is of the two monks who approached a stream and found an attractive young maiden standing there. It was too deep and running too fast for her to cross it. The elder of the two scooped her up in his arms and carried her to the other side then the monks continued their walk. After about an hour the younger monk turned to the elder and said, “How could you have touched that woman? You know we have taken a vow of celibacy and are not permitted to touch women.” “I put her down back at the stream,” he replied, “You’re still carrying her.”

I like the story because in too many instances in my life, I’ve “still been carrying her”. Golf is my most recent example. I hit the ball in the water on the fourth hole, the “Tin Cup” hole here at the Tubac Golf resort and on the sixth hole I’m still replaying it in my mind. Nothing more dramatically reminds me of the futility of living in the past than episodes like that. I’ve also found myself thinking about lunch with two holes to play.

The Ghost of Christmas Present (of course!)

So, in the first case I’m living in the past in the second case I’m living in the future and there is no savoring of the moment in either case. So obviously I’m missing the opportunity to experience quality, excellence and aliveness in the present when I am somewhere else.

Being in the here and now and fully experiencing the present moment is a worthwhile ambition for all of us who aspire to quality living.
You probably can think of instances where you were not fully engaged in the present while doing some activity. If we’re at our job but mentally wishing we were some place else, we’ll not derive satisfaction from our work. If we’re at home with our families but worrying about what we didn’t get done at work that day, we shortchanging both our family and ourselves. I have to give credit to Don Crace, owner of the Dale Carnegie business in Washington and Oregon for a bit of wisdom that succinctly addresses this subject. Don said, “Where ever you are, be there.”

This being in the present is easily accomplished when one has found and is engaged in pursuing their purpose in life. I’ve dealt with this subject in depth in my book. I mentioned yesterday that we can learn from the experiences of our past but we can only take action in the now moment.

For me, for today, I’m going to take Don’s advice and live in the present moment. Why don’t you do the same?

Success thought for today:

“THE PRESENT IS THE PAST’S STUDENT AND THE FUTURE’S TEACHER.”
-Anonymous

Byron
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There was an old fashioned Fish Fry last summer in my hometown. The entertainment committee of my high school class put it on. I live far away now and when I received the notice, I declined. When Jerry, the chief Fish Fry organizer wrote back and reminded me how much I use to enjoy those delicious Perch sandwiches and asked me why I wasn’t coming. I wrote back with the following explanation. “Those deep fried, Lake Erie Perch sandwiches will always live in my memory as one of life’s great treats, but they are not as good as they were and probably never were. You’ll recall that Thomas Wolfe said, “You Can Never Go Home Again.” ”

When we take those walks down memory lane it is good to enjoy fond memories of times gone by. We can savor the sights, sounds and tastes from yesteryear but if we expect them to be the same now we will be disappointed. I can still remember the very first time I had Pork Fried Rice in Tokyo. It was exquisite, I thought. (You must remember I’m from a small town in Ohio and had never had Japanese food before, so Pork Fried Rice seemed like an exotic dish.) I spent a good many years trying to recapture that wonderful, charming culinary experience. It’s never happened and it never will. That was then and to expect it to be repeated in exactly that way is folly and can only serve to rob me of the experience of today’s Pork Fried Rice.

Am I saying there is no practical value in reminiscences? Not at all, we can use the recollection of earlier experiences as a resource for making positive choices in the present. We must, however, be sure that we are learning the right lessons. Mark Twain said,” If a cat jumps on a hot stove, he’ll never jump on one again but he’ll also never jump on a cold stove.”

I have a great photo of a slim, physically fit me smiling as I cross the finish line at a 15K run a few years ago.
O.K. it was quite a few years ago, but it’s still a part of my history that is serving me now. As I’m looking at my 90-day goal to become healthier and more physically fit, I draw encouragement and inspiration from that photo. That was me once and it can be me again. I don’t run anymore but I do walk and it’s paying off. I’ve been walking aerobically and have lost weight and feel more energetic.
As we are progressing towards our 90-day goals I would challenge all of us to look to the past and ask ourselves, “What from my previous experience, is useful in my present situation?

Success thought for today:

“THE KNOWLEDGE OF THE PAST IS DESIRED ONLY FOR THE SERVICE OF THE FUTURE AND THE PRESENT.”
-Friedrich Nietzsche

Byron
byronethompson.com

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Good Morning,
It’s review time. You veterans know the drill.
If you’re new to this exciting adventure in life improvement, please refer back to January 16.
Ciao,
Byron

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Patricia and I sat talking this morning about a very talented friend who had never realized his full potential. As we reflected on his skills and accomplishments, we wondered why he’d been unable to parlay his assets into real success. By real success I mean happiness, fulfillment, contentment, a long lasting, loving relationship and a sufficient amount of money to be able to live a comfortable life.

Then our conversation went on to review some of the others we knew who should have accomplished more but, in each of their cases, there was always something missing.

All of these people had some of the components of success but none of them fit Emerson’s definition of success. (See The Second Essential Tool chapter in my book) As I thought about the truly successful people I’ve known, one quality seems to be present in all of them:  COMMITMENT.

An example immediately came to mind. Patricia made a commitment and set a goal to run the Portland marathon in

Fred S. Cameron of Amherst, Nova Scotia winning Marathon Race at Boston. April 19, 1910. Time 2:28:52

1990. She’d been jogger for fitness up until that time, but had never taken on anything as ambitious as a 26.2 mile run. I’ve detailed her story in the book but in brief she had to endure one set back after another that would have defeated the average person. Those of you who know her know that she is not average. She persevered as she overcame one obstacle after another and ending up running and completing the marathon without stopping once. It was one of the most rewarding experiences of her life.

I was proud of her and inspired by her; inspired to make and keep commitments to myself. I was also inspired to keep going when things get really hard.

In the end, she is an example of the kind of commitment and the persistence that accompanies it that I mean.

Thomas Edison’s well-known story of repeated failures before finally successfully inventing the light bulb is a triumph of commitment and persistence.

Winston Churchill’s famous exhortation to the British people during World War II was to: “Never, Never, Never Give Up!” It will go down in history as one of the strongest commitments to persistence ever made by a world leader.

I would challenge us all to look at own attitudes with respect to commitments and persistence when we enter into any difficult under taking.

Success thought for today:

“NOTHING IN THE WORLD CAN TAKE THE PLACE OF PERSISTENCE. TALENT WILL NOT; NOTHING IS MORE COMMON THAN UNSUCCESSFUL MEN WITH TALENT. GENIUS WILL NOT; UNREWARDED GENIUS IS ALMOST A PROVERB. EDUCATION WILL NOT; THE WORLD IS FULL OF EDUCATED DERELICTS.
PERSISTENCE, AND PERSISTENCE ALONE, HAS AND ALWAYS WILL, SOLVE THE PROBLEMS OF THE HUMAN RACE.”
-Calvin Coolidge

Byron
byronethompson.com

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As I sat musing over my morning coffee, I counted my blessings and realized that I have everything I want. Then I remembered Rabbi Harold Kushner’s  “When Everything You’ve Always Wanted Is Not Enough.” His inspiring book had nothing to do with my next thought but what I did think of was valuable to me and I think will be to you as well.

Those of you who have read my book already know about my paralyzing experience in Barcelona that caused me to blow the United Nations position in Kenya. You also know about my thrilling victorious bungee jumping episode in New Zealand.
So you know about the debilitating effect that fear can have and the recipe for conquering it. For the rest of you, I recommend that you pick up a copy of the book by ordering it from amazon.com or go to your local bookstore and try to get one before they all have flown off the shelves.

The question I asked myself was, “In a universe that will provide us with everything we ask for why don’t we ask for more?” The answer I came up with is: FEAR.

That insight was followed by the realization that we create our own fear and so we can un-create it. How? You already know from the occasions in your life where you’ve conquered fear. Look back on those successes and you’ll see that the way you did it was by forging ahead and doing it in spite of your fear.
That’s it. It is as simple as that and you can do it because you’re the kind of person who reads this kind of material.

So, here’s your assignment:
Identify three things of which you are currently afraid. They don’t have to be big things, just things you are avoiding. It might be making a phone call or saying something to your spouse or a fellow employee that you’ve wanted to say. Do it and see how you feel afterwards.
Good luck.

Success thought for today:

“DO THE THING YOU FEAR TO DO AND THE DEATH OF FEAR IS CERTAIN.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Byron
byronethompson.com

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I sat down to review my progress since I began my 90-day program.
I know many of you who started this process did the same. I hope your experience was similar to mine.
When I looked back over everything that’s taken place I wrote in my journal,
“Things Are Happening.”

A summary of what’s happened for me.

1) I’ve lost 10 pounds.

2) I’ve walked an average of over 30 minutes a day in the aerobic zone, every time I go out.

3) I’ve been playing 18 holes of golf at least once per week and reduced my handicap.

4) I’m now posting a blog 5 days per week and giving everybody two days to review.

5) The quality of my posts has improved, according to the feedback I’ve gotten from some of you.

6) I’m a “Facebooker” (if that’s the correct term) with a bunch of “Friends”.
(Please become a Fan of Build Your Dream: 12 Essential Tools for Successful Living!)

7) My  web site designed by Michelle looks amazing. Thank you Michelle.

I accomplished these things by overlaying the tools from my book, as a part of my desire to demonstrate their applicability for short range, as well as long term goals

All of these accomplishments are consistent with my 90-day goal and moving toward being able to successfully market and sell my book and donate the profits to helping the maximum number of people to realize their full potential.

I encourage you to also sum up the gains you’ve made since we started on this journey together and experience the sense of satisfaction that comes with it.

Success thought for today:

“I FIND THE GREAT THING IN THIS WORLD IS, NOT SO MUCH WHERE WE STAND, AS IN WHAT DIRECTION WE ARE MOVING”
-Johann Wolfgang Goethe

Byron
byronethompson.com

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Pat and I went for our morning walk when our neighbor, Brayton stopped us to talk and commented that he noticed I was losing weight. The same thing happened a little later when Matt, the manager at the coffee shop, asked, “Are you losing weight?”

These encounters were meaningful to me because as a part of my 90-day plan I want to lose weight and become more physically fit.
To do this I’ve been walking, playing golf and watching my food intake since I started and it’s working. I’ve have lost weight and feel more energetic.

Prior to going for our walk I called Jay to get caught up on what’s happening in his life. One of the things we talked about was the posts on my blog. He said he’d been reading them and found them really valuable and that my writing has gotten better.
That piece of positive feedback was really encouraging to me because it tells me I’m on the right track with my blog and my book both of which are designed to help the maximum number of people to achieve their full potential.

Then I checked my email and received an anonymous comment on my Attitude Control post thanking me and saying it had been especially meaningful to ‘anonymous’ because it was immediately applicable. That again told me I’m achieving my purpose in writing.

Here’s what these experiences mean to you. You can develop your family members, employees and every one else who is important to you by looking for opportunities to give them specific, meaningful positive reinforcement.

Here’s what I mean by specific and meaningful. I’m trying to lose weight so Brayton and Matt’s comments were encouraging to me. Jay’s comment had an impact on me because it was sincere and related to my goal of being an author whose writings make a difference in peoples lives.

Instructors of Dale Carnegie’s personal development course are masters of this kind of life changing commenting. They are trained to know the goals of their class members, listen when they participate and make an instructional comment when they finish. That instructor knows that the purpose of the comment is to “enable the participant to see him or herself in light of a strength, of which he or she is unaware or uncertain, ideally one that enables him or to see themselves as the person they’ve always dreamed of becoming.”

I know from teaching hundreds of Dale Carnegie classes and commenting on thousands of talks how powerful this kind of feedback can be.

You can adopt this technique in your life and gain a tremendous amount of satisfaction in your dealings with people. You need to know what their goals are and what their insecurities are. This takes some practice and a genuine interest in the growth and development of the person you giving the feedback to, but it’s worth it.
You’ll end up with stronger, more loyal and competent employees, more loving friends and family members. Try it for one week and see the results.

Success thought for today:

“GIVE HONEST SINCERE APPRECIATION”
-Dale Carnegie
(yes, it bears repeating!)

Byron
byronethompson.com

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