Pat and I went for our morning walk when our neighbor, Brayton stopped us to talk and commented that he noticed I was losing weight. The same thing happened a little later when Matt, the manager at the coffee shop, asked, “Are you losing weight?”
These encounters were meaningful to me because as a part of my 90-day plan I want to lose weight and become more physically fit.
To do this I’ve been walking, playing golf and watching my food intake since I started and it’s working. I’ve have lost weight and feel more energetic.
Prior to going for our walk I called Jay to get caught up on what’s happening in his life. One of the things we talked about was the posts on my blog. He said he’d been reading them and found them really valuable and that my writing has gotten better.
That piece of positive feedback was really encouraging to me because it tells me I’m on the right track with my blog and my book both of which are designed to help the maximum number of people to achieve their full potential.
Then I checked my email and received an anonymous comment on my Attitude Control post thanking me and saying it had been especially meaningful to ‘anonymous’ because it was immediately applicable. That again told me I’m achieving my purpose in writing.
Here’s what these experiences mean to you. You can develop your family members, employees and every one else who is important to you by looking for opportunities to give them specific, meaningful positive reinforcement.
Here’s what I mean by specific and meaningful. I’m trying to lose weight so Brayton and Matt’s comments were encouraging to me. Jay’s comment had an impact on me because it was sincere and related to my goal of being an author whose writings make a difference in peoples lives.
Instructors of Dale Carnegie’s personal development course are masters of this kind of life changing commenting. They are trained to know the goals of their class members, listen when they participate and make an instructional comment when they finish. That instructor knows that the purpose of the comment is to “enable the participant to see him or herself in light of a strength, of which he or she is unaware or uncertain, ideally one that enables him or to see themselves as the person they’ve always dreamed of becoming.”
I know from teaching hundreds of Dale Carnegie classes and commenting on thousands of talks how powerful this kind of feedback can be.
You can adopt this technique in your life and gain a tremendous amount of satisfaction in your dealings with people. You need to know what their goals are and what their insecurities are. This takes some practice and a genuine interest in the growth and development of the person you giving the feedback to, but it’s worth it.
You’ll end up with stronger, more loyal and competent employees, more loving friends and family members. Try it for one week and see the results.
Success thought for today:
“GIVE HONEST SINCERE APPRECIATION”
-Dale Carnegie
(yes, it bears repeating!)
Byron
byronethompson.com
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