A few months ago Patricia and I attended the graduation session of a Dale Carnegie Course in Effective Communications and Human Relations. All of the participants were thrilled with the progress they’d made over the 12 weeks of the program. As they spoke of their benefits from participating in the program, I was impressed, once again, with how they applied the skills they’d learned, not only on the job but in their personal lives as well.

A successful financial executive, skilled in business communications, stood and told the class of significant breakthrough he had in communicating in a social situation. Sitting at the airport, waiting for his flight to be called, he turned to the older woman seated next to him and started a conversation. He said “She was a little suspicious at first, but soon she could see that I was genuinely interested in her and we had a great visit.” He was delighted that he’d opened a whole new side of himself and had found that he could apply the leadership principles outside of his work.

It reminded me of the importance of balance in our lives. That’s the reason, in my book, I’ve emphasized the importance of developing ourselves in every area of our lives — the overall goal being to live life fully, richly and vividly.

My encouragement for you is to look at all of the important areas of your life and ask yourself;
“How can I participate more fully and enthusiastically in that area.?”
The benefit to you is you’ll live a more joyous, balanced and successful life.

Success thought for today:

TO LAUGH OFTEN AND LOVE MUCH; TO WIN THE RESPECT OF INTELLIGENT PERSONS AND THE AFFECTION OF CHILDREN; TO EARN THE APPROBATION OF HONEST CRITICS AND ENDURE THE BETRAYAL OF FALSE FRIENDS; TO APPRECIATE BEAUTY; TO FIND THE BEST IN OTHERS; TO GIVE ONESELF; TO LEAVE THE WORLD A BIT BETTER, WHETHER BY A HEALTHY CHILD, A GARDEN PATCH OR A REDEEMED SOCIAL CONDITION; TO HAVE PLAYED AND LAUGHED WITH ENTHUSIASM AND SUNG WITH EXULTATION; TO KNOW EVEN ONE LIFE HAS BREATHED EASIER BECAUSE YOU HAVE LIVED:

THIS IS TO HAVE SUCCEEDED.

Byron
byronethompson.com

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I walked with Patricia again Saturday morning. I’ve been doing this fairly regularly since the first of the year as a part of my 90-day goal to become healthier and more physically fit. I like walking first thing in the morning. it gets my day off to a good start. I immediately tell Pat what my results were and put it on my IGID list (see Saturday’s Review post) and feel good about myself.

One of the most important tools I use enables me to monitor my results. I wear a Polar heart monitor which records not only how many minutes I walk but also the intensity of the walk by measuring my heart rate. I know that by walking briskly enough to get myself into my aerobic zone, I’m getting the maximum value from the exercise. I know it is working; I’ve lost 5 pounds since I started and feel more energetic.
You may have a different goal but the techniques I am using here will help you manage yourself, stay on track and ensure you’re keeping your commitment to yourself.

5 Techniques for Self Management

1. Ask yourself how can I measure my progress toward my goal? Be specific. How many? How long? By When? What percentage? etc. Don’t try to do it all at once. Remember the answer to the riddle, “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.”

2. Record your progress daily. Weight loss experts tell us to weigh ourselves daily. Performance that is recorded tends to improve.

3. Report to someone you respect, i.e. a mentor, a boss, a friend or a spouse. Performance that is reported and recorded tends to improve more.

4. Remind yourself how your progress relates to attaining your goal.

5. Celebrate your success. I reward myself by sitting for 30 minutes before I start the day’s work, relaxing with a cup of coffee and enjoying the morning.

Success thought for today:

“IF YOU CAN’T MEASURE IT, YOU CAN’T MANAGE IT.”
-L.G. “Boo” Bue

Byron
byronethompson.com

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Let’s review.
We’ve completed 2 weeks of our 90-day plan. It’s time to sum up and review the progress we’ve made so far and look at what we’ve learned.
I”m having a great time, pursuing my goal of becoming healthier and getting in better shape.

Here’s our assignment for today.
1. Go back to day 1 and re-read your original goal and your plan.

2. Ask yourself, “Am I still committed to that goal and plan or do I need to adjust them either up or down?”

3. Review your day to day activities, as best you can, either from journals, notes or memory and make a list of things that you liked. Call this list IGID (I”m Glad I Did).

4. Make another list of things you would have liked to have done differently. call this list IWIH (I Wish I Had). Both of these lists are valuable. We grow from our successes and we learn from our failures.

5. Make a new 7-day plan with any changes you feel you need to make to achieve your goal.

Good luck.
An important note — It will be useful for us to use this same review exercise each week.

Success thought for today:

“THE UNEXAMINED LIFE IS NOT WORTH LIVING.”
-Plato

Byron
byronethompson.com

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How do we reconcile contentment with ambition? I bring this up because I am the process of pursuing a 90 day health and fitness goal.

Most of us are looking for happiness and satisfaction in life.

Satisfaction is being contented with what is, our present circumstances.

Contentment is a feeling that nothing is missing, everything is complete and perfect just the way it is. It is the most desirable and mentally healthy place for us to be. Yet, many times we find ourselves to be angst ridden and vaguely troubled.

What is the cause of this feeling and how do we counter it?
It would seem as though I and others who are advocates of personal growth and success are contributors to that feeling of dissatisfaction. I must be a part of the problem, encouraging you to improve to be better than you are. In fact I’ve detailed a method for goal achieving and success in my book “Build Your Dream: 12 Essential Tools For Successful Living”. Why would I or anyone else say, on one hand, you are fine, even perfect, the way you are, and on the other hand that you should improve?

The answer to that lies in a built in biological and psychological need that we all have. The drive for growth, change, improvement and refinement can be seen and is inherent in all of nature. So in a sense, we can’t help ourselves, we are constantly in a state of inner conflict. We’re torn between accepting who we are and a desire to be who we are not.

There is a way to resolve that conflict. Here are the steps.

1. Accept who you are and what you are doing right at this moment and declare that to be o.k.

2. Accept that the feeling of wanting to be, have or do more is a product of that inherent condition in your nature.

3. Be grateful that you posses this feeling of “constructive discontent’. It is a sign that you are healthy and normal.

4. Make a list of 5 easy to accomplish tasks that will move you in the direction of  a more peaceful frame of mind.

5. If your feelings are of something concrete; i.e. a major concern. Read Dale Carnegie’s “How To Stop Worrying And Start Living or any other good book on overcoming worry.

Success thought for today:

LIFE MUST CONSIST OF NOT ONLY SUSTAINING ONESELF, BUT IN SURPASSING ONESELF, IF IT DOESN’T THEN LIVING IS JUST NOT DYING AND HUMAN EXISTENCE BECOMES INDISTINGUISHABLE FROM AN ABSURD VEGETATION.
-Simone DeBeauvoir

Byron
byronethompson.com

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Dale Carnegie said” “It’s more important to be inspired than to be inspiring.”

He was talking to Dale Carnegie Instructors, whose job it is to build, train and develop people but his advice applies to all of us.
(If you haven’t already taken the Dale Carnegie Course, I recommend that you investigate it. It was the most valuable of all the training I ever received.)
The American Heritage Dictionary gives as one definition of inspire: ” to affect, guide or arouse by Divine influence.” and Reverend Bob Richards, in his book “The Heart of A Champion”, said “I believe a person is inspired when he sees himself, not as he is, but as he is capable of being.”

If you and I will allow ourselves to be “guided and aroused by that Divine influence” and “see ourselves as we’re capable of being” we can achieve any goal we’ve set for ourselves. More than that we can be a powerful force for good for our fellow man.
We will be more innovative and creative in all areas of our lives. We will see everything and everyone in a new light. We’ll bring freshness and enthusiasm to our daily lives . We’ll attract the kind of people who want to hang out with us and the kind of people we want to hang out with.

How do we find inspiration on a daily basis? Here are three ways.
1.Visualize everything we see as being different. Bigger, grander, more elegant, more beautiful. Suddenly will see new possibilities in the everyday world.
2.Ask.” What if I were able to take on a job or challenge that was 10 times greater than the one I presently have?”
3. Ask, “How is that (the thing you are observing like… A situation or issue you are currently dealing with in your life?)

As an example I’ve recently acquired a whole host of new dependants in the form of a bevy of hummingbirds. I noticed a few of them in the garden around my new house and decided to get a feeder for them. No sooner had I installed it than those few birds spread the word and now they are flocking around there sucking up the specially prepared hummingbird food I find myself going to Walmart and buying every other day. ( A little bit of an exaggeration.) When I ask myself “How is this like my blog? I realize I’ve got an enormous following of beautiful hummingbirds, which I like because they are a delight to watch as they flock around drawing nourishment from their new found source. I get a tremendous amount of satisfaction in providing sustenance for them. My goal in writing this blog is to assist you in living a richer, fuller life by using more of your potential, the same reason I wrote the book. I believe, in time by providing followers of this blog with the sustenance necessary to achieve success and happiness in their lives they will spread the word and we’ll have a community of success minded people encouraging and supporting one another.
Expect wonderful things to happen in your life as a result of taking these three steps.

Success thought for today is from Marianne Williamson from her book, “Return to Love”:

“OUR DEEPEST FEAR IS NOT THAT WE ARE INADEQUATE. OUR DEEPEST FEAR IS THAT WE ARE POWERFUL BEYOND MEASURE. IT IS OUR LIGHT, NOT OUR DARKNESS THAT MOST FRIGHTENS US.”… AS WE LET OUR OWN LIGHT SHINE, WE UNCONSCIOUSLY GIVE OTHER PEOPLE PERMISSION TO DO THE SAME.

Byron
byronethompson.com

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As you may have already noticed, I’m a novice at this blogging stuff. I have a great deal to learn which I’m sure is obvious to those of you who are bloggers yourself or are followers of blogs.
Why do I mention this as a part of a success plan? Because, in any undertaking, we are all beginners at some point and we must accept that we can’t start being experts until we’ve “paid our dues.”
I highly recommend a book I recently read Geoff Colvin’s ” Talent Is Overrated”. Having spent my entire career in training and developing people, I appreciated his understanding of what is required of any of us to achieve greatness. In two words, it is deliberate practice. Read it and take his important conclusions to heart.
In the meantime, in whatever your undertaking or goal is; be it to learn to blog, to paint. to write, to learn a new job, just be patient with yourself and keep working.

Success thought for today:

LET NO YOUTH HAVE ANY ANXIETY ABOUT THE UPSHOT OF HIS EDUCATION WHATEVER THE LINE OF IT MAY BE. IF HE KEEPS FAITHFULLY BUSY EACH HOUR OF THE WORKING DAY, HE MAY LEAVE THE FINAL RESULTS TO ITSELF. HE CAN, WITH PERFECT CERTAINTY, COUNT ON WAKING UP ONE FINE MORNING TO FIND HIMSELF ONE OF THE COMPETENT ONES OF HIS GENERATION, IN WHATEVER PURSUIT HE MAY HAVE SINGLED OUT.
-William James

Byron
byronethompson.com

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To achieve most plans it is good to remember, as I said in my book, we can’t do it by ourselves. We must always be mindful of the importance of people in our lives. They give us the counter-point to our point. They allow us to define ourselves by enabling us to test our view of ourselves. With their backgrounds, educations and experiences, they can be tremendous resources as we seek to move toward our goal.
In order for us avail ourselves to this last point let’s review what we know about people.

We are first and foremost interested in ourselves. Dale Carnegie put it best when he said, “People think of themselves first thing in the morning before breakfast and the last thing at night before they go bed.” Others have said everyone is listening to the same radio station — Station WIIFM? (What’s In It For Me?)
That has its basis in the survival instinct, self-preservation being one of the strongest drives in man.

It is important then, for us to consider others as we are striving to reach our 90-day goals? We must enlist their willing cooperation to help us and to do this we need to think their interests, orientations and goals. Otherwise why should they even want to help us get what we want?

By answering that question we can then translate our goal into a benefit to them. If we can’t then we have no business asking for their assistance.
Think about it.

Our success thought for today is from Dale Carnegie’s “How To Win Friends And Influence People“

TALK IN TERMS OF THE OTHER PERSON’S INTERESTS.

Byron
byronethompson.com

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The most important action we can take in pursuit of our 90 day goal is to exercise our power of choice.
Of all the strategies achievers have used to succeed they rate the power of choice among the most important.
We make day to day and even hour by hour choices as we are looking at our goals.

We are all driven by the desire for pleasure and the desire to avoid pain. What represents those sensations is unique to each of us when we go beyond the physical. That’s what makes us human.
In my case, since my 90 day goal is geared toward becoming healthier and more physically fit, my choice this morning was do I take a walk (discomfort) or do I sit on the couch, drink coffee and watch the news (comfortable). By employing one important technique I was able to make the choice that best served me. I chose to walk.
I believe the same technique will work for you too in attaining whatever goal you’ve set for yourself.

Very simply it is our success thought for today. When ever we are faced with decision to take or not take a particular action, ask the magic question:

WILL THIS ACTION GET ME CLOSER TO MY GOAL?

Byron

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LOOK!
Look over what we’ve accomplished and celebrate.
Look at what we can do better.
Look forward to another great week ahead.

Success thought for today:

“I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection.
Excellence I can reach for — Perfection is God’s business.”
-Michael J. Fox

See you Monday.
Byron
byronethompson.com

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Good friend Jay wrote: “Emus never walk backwards. They are always looking forward, just the way you are advising us on your blog.”
When Michelle read Jay’s comment she said, “That should be the title of your next book,  “Be The Emu … Emus Don’t Walk Backwards And Neither Should You.”

I thought about that as Mike, a recent retiree and I played golf the other day. He talked about, while not missing work, his life has lost the significance it previously had when he was working.
I told him that my book, “Build Your Dream: 12 Essential Tools For Successful Living“, would be especially helpful to him, as it would to anyone who is going through a life change as he is. It focuses on looking to the future and using the tools for creating satisfaction and fulfillment.

Here are 4 actions for success we can take right now.

1. Look back on the successes we’ve had in our lives and realize we are still the person who achieved those successes.

2. Look at the qualities that enabled us to score those wins.

3.  Set a goal to achieve something new we believe to be significant now relying on those qualities.

4. Take a few minutes each day to think about the things we have to be grateful for right now. count our blessings.

Our success thought for today comes from Martin Seligman, University of Pennsylvania psychologist:

“HUMAN BEINGS WANT TO HAVE MEANING. THEY WANT TO NOT WAKE UP IN THE MORNING WITH A GNAWING REALIZATION THAT THEY ARE FIDGETING UNTIL THEY DIE.”

Byron
byronethompson.com

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